No Layouts, No Love, Just Life

and how overwhelming it is. Does anyone else ever feel like they are living in a warzone?
I feel like there are warring factions on every side and no matter how hard I try and stay impartial I get drawn in and have all the shit thrown at me. Take today as an example. Nan came upstairs to lay down hardly able to breathe because she had a row with Mark got herself overly worked up over nothing and then wanted to rant at me (who had witnessed none of it because I was up here nursing a migraine again and feeling like crap) turns out it was over Mark thowing away a piece of rubbish that Lukas had wanted. Mark doesn't think he did anything wrong because it was rubbish (but he'd stamped on it and put it in the recycling bin while Lukas was screaming for it). Nan had then gone through the bin to give it back to him. I'm on nobody's side because in my personal opinion they are both in the wrong. Mark shouldn't have thrown it away in front of Lukas, but Nan shouldn't have gone through the bin for it. Actually the one whose in the wrong in the first place is Lukas for screaming to get his own way instead of asking Mark for it back or just accepting that he had been told no. But now the situation is Nan's sulking because she doesn't like that I told her she shouldn't have gone through the bin, Mark isn't speaking to me because I asked what had happened and he thinks I am siding with Nan over him, Lukas is playing in the garden even though I said he couldn't because he had already been bathed and the piece of cardboard is lying in the front room forgotten about! As for me I tried to have a bath and ending up sobbing on my own in their I have a rotten headache and I am throughly and utterly miserable. I am fed up with always getting dragged into stuff I had nothing to do with. Tomorrow morning I have to go to Lukas's school because he has an "ugly bug ball" so I have to go and pretend that everything is ok and be all false and nice to everyone. I really want to just get away from them all for a while but I can't even do that because I feel so shit. Now I have to go and make Lukas go to bed, which he's not going to want to do because Nan has Conor here again so there will be all hell let loose because Lukas will want to know why he can't stay up with Conor. It's not like I could even move out of here because then I would be made to feel guilty for leaving Nan on her own in the house. I can't win i'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. I think I am going to pour myself a large glass of vodka and coke, put my headphones on and they can all sod off and leave me alone.