The doctor from the Vaccine Study came today, she had called me and asked if she could come earlier than originally planned I said fine. I rushed around and managed to get everything sorted before she arrived. After explaining all of the details about the study she asked if she could examine Logan while I signed the consent form. While she was examining him she came across a problem, she found that he has a heart murmur she called and spoke to someone more senior and they said she needs to speak to someone else. I need to go and get Logan checked by the GP and she will get back to me about whether this excludes Logan from participating or not. We already had an appointment made for Monday so we will just have to see what they say then. It could be nothing but that doesn’t stop me being scared and a tiny part of me wishing it was already Monday. Lukas has been home today he’s building Lego and Mark has gone to get takeaway for dinner, KFC for us and Macdonalds for Lukas and Logan is asleep on my lap. I am still sick and haven’t gotten much done today except for unpacking my order from Boots, more milk, nappies and wipes for Logan. Nan asked me why I was stockpiling it I didn’t have the heart to tell her that he will have drunk everything I ordered in about 3 weeks maybe sooner, told you he was a little piglet. Anyway Logan has just woken up so I better run.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
didn’t really go to plan something went wrong with my phone and it stored all of my twitters in my outbox and didn’t send them. But that’s ok because I can just take them off my phone and use them as notes for blogging instead, that’s all the twitters were going to be in the first place. I don’t really feel up to writing about the Legoland trip tonight though sorry. My new office chair came this morning, it’s nice to have one that’s not broken anymore. This one has a lower back and even though the actual seat is wider it feels more snug on my hips and bum because of the way the handles sit. It was a very reasonable price from staples online and i’m sure I will get used to it in a few days. Logan is having his first set of immunisations tomorrow and I am quite nervous about it. I think I mentioned he is having them done as part of a vaccination study so they are coming to the house to do them. I’m sure I have other stuff to talk about but my brain is mush tonight, I will try and pop back tomorrow but i’m not promising anything since I am not sure what Logan is going to be like after his injections.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
I had very good intentions of blogging yesterday but despite being up all night I never found the time lol. When I went to pick Lukas up from school, the two teachers came over to speak to me. They said he’d had a great time and really enjoyed himself but he did have a little accident on the last night so his sleeping bag needed washing. He chattered all the way home telling me what he had been doing and about various other things. When we got home I sorted all of his bag out and was surprised to see that his clothes weren’t that bad and he hadn’t even used his wellies. The only negative thing was that no-one had given him his allergy medicine or sent it home and he was covered in the nasty rash he gets from the grass. Didn’t seem to bother him much though. I was so glad to have him home I didn’t even get any photos of him, which is funny really since I thought he must be filthy from the colour of him, but he’s actually caught the sun quite a bit. He says he missed everyone and that even though he had a good time, he doesn’t want to go again and he’s glad to be home lol. Yesterday was Nan’s birthday and after picking Lukas up from school we all went out for a meal with Lisa, Gary, Conor and Ella and Lisa’s friend Heidi and her son Hayden. It was really nice to get out of the house for a while the food was lovely and we all had a great time chatting. Logan was really good and the other 4 spent most of their time playing in the outside play area. So all in all it was a nice day. Today has been a bit chaotic as Mark got called into work earlier than we expected. Lukas has spent most of the day watching television since he missed it while he was away lol. I haven’t really got much done apart from a few things for Nan and tomorrow we are off to Legoland and taking Ella with us. I really like the weekend it’s nice to have Lukas home and to not have to go anywhere or do anything. Right now Logan is asleep and I have a few things I want to get done before he wakes up again so I am going to love you and leave you. Hopefully I will be back on Monday to blog about our trip to Legoland, I am going to try and twitter while we are there to help myself keep track of everything we have done, much better than relying on my memory lol.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Me and Logan went to baby clinic so he could be weighed and then we took Nan to her hospital appointment. We did some shopping while we were there and bought Logan two new outfits. I wasn’t exactly thrilled when I went to pay for everything on my card and it was declined, no doubt that will be tonight’s argument between me and Mark. I had enough cash on me to pay for everything but it’s not the point, I am really getting fed up how much money he withdraws from my bank account without telling me. I don’t object to him withdrawing money it’s the not telling me part that drives me insane. Then when we got home I tried to stay busy. I was alright while we were out because it was just like Lukas being at school, I found the timer function on my phone and have been setting it for 15 minutes at a time and working on a few things. The first 15 minutes I worked on the rubbish and clutter on and around my desk, it’s the biggest hot spot in our room since everyone dumps everything on it no matter how many times I shout at them about it. I am always quite surprised by how much junk I take off it every time I clean it up. Then I spent 15 minutes doing computer stuff, deleting duplicate files and old scrapbooking stuff. I am trying to reorganise all the files but I need to make enough space first so I am working on purging a lot of the junk from my scrapbooking stash. Next I worked on the pile of clothes, folding them and sorting them into piles. The next task I attempted was putting things back into their proper places including the clothes. I was quite pleased because I managed to get all Lukas’s clothes put back in their drawers and even some of ours put away, but I really need to take everything out and restack all of them so more clothes can be put away. I have a pile of stuff for charity and a pile of stuff that I need to find hangers for but it does look better already in here. Then I had another 15 minutes of computer organising and managed a brief online chat with Amy before Logan woke up. He got fed and changed and we cuddled for a while, then I spent some time with Nan before we came upstairs. Logan was a bit miserable so I was giving him some gripe water when he decided to lunge forward on the syringe, which made me squirt it into the back of his throat, he gagged on it and promptly threw up lol. He wasn’t very happy that I had to put him down so I could clean it all up, luckily it’s only milk since I can’t do sick it makes me gag lol. After everything was cleaned up I got Logan undressed for bed and we had some more cuddles and he fell asleep in my arms before I put him in his swing. I think he has spent more time in the swing today than he has any other day since we bought it. He had his nap in it earlier (over an hour) and he sat in it for a while and now he’s sleeping in it as far as I am concerned that’s major progress lol. Speaking of progress he’s getting on great he was 8lb 12.5oz when they weighed him today and he’s all set for when they come to do his first vaccinations on Wednesday. Today was also the first time that he has cried it out, he was moaning to be picked up and I was in the middle of something so I left him to cry for a while. He got bored of crying and went back to sleep. Leaving him to cry it out is not really my style, but it might come in handy if he ever has another meltdown like he did on the bus, when we went to his hospital appointment. I have only seen Mark for a few minutes today since he went out to do washing and got back just as I was leaving. He will be home from work in a little while, tomorrow I am hoping he will be in all day, so we can get a few things done before Lukas comes home. I have really missed having the little guy around the whole house just seems so quiet without him and I don’t like it one little bit. I do hope he’s had a nice time though, missing him is a good thing really since it makes me appreciate how much I love having him in my life. Anyway I suppose I should get back to some more organising before Logan wakes up, but I will leave you with a picture of Lukas just before he left for school yesterday with all of his gear. Just excuse the red eyes since it is straight out of the camera, I haven’t got around to fixing it yet. You can click on it for a bigger view since I posted it in Windows Live Writer instead of how I do layouts.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I know you are sat there wondering what on earth I am talking about don’t worry it will all become clear in a minute. I just need a few moments to gather my thoughts and type up some background so it makes a little more sense. The first day Lukas went back to school he came home with the usual pile of letters, what they are learning about this term, reminders about homework, permission letter for swimming, welcome back letter, welcome to year 3 letter etc. One of the letters mentioned a residential trip 3 days and 2 nights. When Lukas saw it he was adamant he didn’t want to go. They sent home a few other letters about the trip and then Friday morning the school rang and asked if he was going, we said no he doesn’t want to. They sent a kit list home anyway and between Friday and Monday he changed his mind backward and forward, one minute he wanted to go the next there was nothing he wanted less. We had tears, we had begging, we had pleading and even a few tantrums. Monday morning we received a phone call from the school saying Lukas had changed his mind and now wanted to go again. We dragged into school to discuss it with his teacher and ended up talking the LSA. They had only told Lukas all of the positives about the trip over and over again. He seemed to think the trip was going to be something like a stay in a hotel, which is so far from the truth it’s not funny. I know him and I also know that the trip is nothing like he thinks it is. I’ll be honest I didn’t want him to go, but I always make it a point to give him all the facts about everything and let him make his own decision. So I promised I would get everything ready and then let him decide what he wanted to do. Monday night he decided that he absolutely didn’t want to go. Tuesday morning between here and school something was said by Mark, don’t ask me what because I don’t know but Lukas apparently decided he wanted to go. So Mark not thinking straight as usual went ahead and signed the permission form and the medical form. Now as much as I love him, we have rules about him signing anything to do with the boys, because even though he lives with them and we have been over this hundreds of times he doesn’t know any of the important information about them. So a medical form he signs isn’t really worth the paper it’s written on since he knows nothing about medications or allergies or anything else that’s medically important. To say I was not happy was an understatement. I was left with under a day to find everything on the list and pack it all ready for the trip. To make things more fun he was working a different shift so I had to collect Lukas from school and organise everything for a trip I didn’t even want him to go on but that’s a story for another time. Last night after everything was packed Lukas changed his mind again and didn’t want to go. I was fine with that decision even after everything but Mark decided to do something really stupid and tell Lukas that he had no choice and he had to go now whether he wanted to or not. You can imagine the argument that caused can’t you. Anyway come this morning when we all got up and took Lukas to school, I was more than ready to bring him home with me if he didn’t want to get on the coach. Only because Mark decided it was more important, to sit watching TV and packing washing for his dad’s instead of helping me get the boys ready, we were late. Me and Mark argued the whole way to school and we never really got to ask him what he wanted. When we got there Lukas got rushed up to his classroom to be registered and I didn’t even get to kiss him goodbye. I made Mark stay with me so we could wave him off on the coach, only there was a slight delay so we ended up sitting in the cafe and having a drink. When the coach finally got there and they had everything loaded onto it the kids came out. I managed to see Lukas and he looked nervous and excited, terrified and happy all at the same time. We saw him on the coach and I blew him kisses. For the first time ever he was embarrassed by the attention and refused to look at me, I know he’s growing up but he’s still my baby and I kind of thought I had a little bit longer to be able to love him in public, well I don’t play fair so I got my secret weapon of his pushchair and made him wave to Lukas. Lukas couldn’t help but look at me, he also couldn’t help announcing to the whole coach that was his baby brother over there. He even gave me a big smile and blew me a kiss back and then he was off. Logan also managed to serve as a great way to not let Lukas see the tears in my eyes. I cried on the way home too, it’s just so hard to accept that my little baby is growing up so fast. This is the first time he has ever spent a night away from me, and it’s not even just one night. I am really going to miss him, I want him to have fun and enjoy himself, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that there is a part of me who hopes he has a good enough time to enjoy himself but not a good enough time that he would want to do it again anytime soon. I really don’t know what I would do with myself if I didn’t have Logan here to look after. Speaking of the little monkey, I really need to run now because he’s woken up and wants my undivided attention NOW lol. I also have to make some more bottles because someone is a very hungry little piglet today and they are nearly all gone!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
My to-do list is starting to look more like a novel than a manageable list of things to accomplish, and it’s easy to look at it feel overwhelmed and then do none of it, once you add into the equation that I am very sick at the moment it becomes easier and easier to see why nothing ever seems to get done. Mark has gone to do some shopping and the boys are amusing themselves (Lukas is playing Lego and Logan is asleep) so I decided to remove blogging from my list. The problem with blogging though is it becomes a to-do list in it’s own right. I tell myself that I have to blog about this or that and it needs to be in some logical order and then I get behind and I feel like I can never catch up. Then as I get more and more things on my list that are waiting to be blogged about nothing ends up actually being blogged. A while back I started a twitter account thinking that making short notes via that might help me when it came to making real blog posts but unfortunately I don’t seem to bother with that either. But I am going to start trying to change that. Yesterday I signed up for the FLYlady system again my logic is slightly insane though, she says that you should spend no more than 15 minutes doing things. I have always struggled with that because time kind of gets away from me. I thought that being this sick would mean I wouldn’t be physically able to spend more than 15 minutes doing something without a break and I would have to follow the rules. Hopefully by the time I am feeling better it will be on it’s way to becoming a habit. I also thought that it might be a smart idea to not only read her advice myself but to make Mark read it too. He doesn’t have a great attention span so spending no longer than 15 minutes on something might actually motivate him to start something in the first place lol. Anyway I better run I have some things I want to get done before Mark gets home, like spending 15 minutes organising some digital files and deleting some of the digital clutter on my hard drives.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
why the more I apologise about being a bad blogger the worse of a blogger I seem to become? I guess blogging is one of those things I always mean to do but never find the time to actually get done, there are other things I would rather do, like um sleep lol. It’s also one of those things that seems to hard to get done while you are holding the baby and trying to type with one hand. It takes so much longer to type one handed that I just see how many other things I could have gotten done in the time it takes to write one blog post and decide not to bother. But the truth is I miss blogging, I miss having a record of the things we have done or the things Lukas has said. So I have decided that I need to try harder to find a way to blog, but not tonight lol. Tonight I need to take advantage of the fact that Logan is fast asleep, somewhere other than my arms and finish up some bits on the computer before heading to my bed, ideally before he wakes up and decides he needs to be held, changed or fed again.