I know you are sat there wondering what on earth I am talking about don’t worry it will all become clear in a minute. I just need a few moments to gather my thoughts and type up some background so it makes a little more sense. The first day Lukas went back to school he came home with the usual pile of letters, what they are learning about this term, reminders about homework, permission letter for swimming, welcome back letter, welcome to year 3 letter etc. One of the letters mentioned a residential trip 3 days and 2 nights. When Lukas saw it he was adamant he didn’t want to go. They sent home a few other letters about the trip and then Friday morning the school rang and asked if he was going, we said no he doesn’t want to. They sent a kit list home anyway and between Friday and Monday he changed his mind backward and forward, one minute he wanted to go the next there was nothing he wanted less. We had tears, we had begging, we had pleading and even a few tantrums. Monday morning we received a phone call from the school saying Lukas had changed his mind and now wanted to go again. We dragged into school to discuss it with his teacher and ended up talking the LSA. They had only told Lukas all of the positives about the trip over and over again. He seemed to think the trip was going to be something like a stay in a hotel, which is so far from the truth it’s not funny. I know him and I also know that the trip is nothing like he thinks it is. I’ll be honest I didn’t want him to go, but I always make it a point to give him all the facts about everything and let him make his own decision. So I promised I would get everything ready and then let him decide what he wanted to do. Monday night he decided that he absolutely didn’t want to go. Tuesday morning between here and school something was said by Mark, don’t ask me what because I don’t know but Lukas apparently decided he wanted to go. So Mark not thinking straight as usual went ahead and signed the permission form and the medical form. Now as much as I love him, we have rules about him signing anything to do with the boys, because even though he lives with them and we have been over this hundreds of times he doesn’t know any of the important information about them. So a medical form he signs isn’t really worth the paper it’s written on since he knows nothing about medications or allergies or anything else that’s medically important. To say I was not happy was an understatement. I was left with under a day to find everything on the list and pack it all ready for the trip. To make things more fun he was working a different shift so I had to collect Lukas from school and organise everything for a trip I didn’t even want him to go on but that’s a story for another time. Last night after everything was packed Lukas changed his mind again and didn’t want to go. I was fine with that decision even after everything but Mark decided to do something really stupid and tell Lukas that he had no choice and he had to go now whether he wanted to or not. You can imagine the argument that caused can’t you. Anyway come this morning when we all got up and took Lukas to school, I was more than ready to bring him home with me if he didn’t want to get on the coach. Only because Mark decided it was more important, to sit watching TV and packing washing for his dad’s instead of helping me get the boys ready, we were late. Me and Mark argued the whole way to school and we never really got to ask him what he wanted. When we got there Lukas got rushed up to his classroom to be registered and I didn’t even get to kiss him goodbye. I made Mark stay with me so we could wave him off on the coach, only there was a slight delay so we ended up sitting in the cafe and having a drink. When the coach finally got there and they had everything loaded onto it the kids came out. I managed to see Lukas and he looked nervous and excited, terrified and happy all at the same time. We saw him on the coach and I blew him kisses. For the first time ever he was embarrassed by the attention and refused to look at me, I know he’s growing up but he’s still my baby and I kind of thought I had a little bit longer to be able to love him in public, well I don’t play fair so I got my secret weapon of his pushchair and made him wave to Lukas. Lukas couldn’t help but look at me, he also couldn’t help announcing to the whole coach that was his baby brother over there. He even gave me a big smile and blew me a kiss back and then he was off. Logan also managed to serve as a great way to not let Lukas see the tears in my eyes. I cried on the way home too, it’s just so hard to accept that my little baby is growing up so fast. This is the first time he has ever spent a night away from me, and it’s not even just one night. I am really going to miss him, I want him to have fun and enjoy himself, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that there is a part of me who hopes he has a good enough time to enjoy himself but not a good enough time that he would want to do it again anytime soon. I really don’t know what I would do with myself if I didn’t have Logan here to look after. Speaking of the little monkey, I really need to run now because he’s woken up and wants my undivided attention NOW lol. I also have to make some more bottles because someone is a very hungry little piglet today and they are nearly all gone!
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