Sunday, May 31, 2009

There’s one big problem with not blogging

when you finally sit down to do it, you never know quite where to start. The whole process seems a little overwhelming so it gets put off until later when you have more time. Then later comes and you have yet more stuff to blog about and it’s even harder to know where to start because you can’t exactly remember everything you want or need to blog about, instead of being fresh in your mind the details are a little hazy. You want to upload layouts and add credits and enabling but now you have too many to do in one post so you know it’s going to end up being a couple of posts you have to write and add links to and it all just seems like so much of a hassle you wonder why you even started a blog in the first place. The most insane thing about it is I really rely on my blog to help me out with the journalling and the important dates etc when I am scrapping so it really should be more of a priority for me to keep it updated and write down all the things I want to remember. *sigh* I need to get more organised then I won’t have to sit and write posts like this one, or even wrap up posts like this one with the words, I will try and get back later to do an update post because right now I just can’t concentrate on typing anything.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

From Our Blog To Yours - What part of spring are you?

Just a quick post before I go to bed for the from our blog to yours challenge at Sweet Shoppe Designs, it's a little quiz to determine what part of spring you are this should be amusing lol.

You Are Baseball Games

You like old fashioned things. You're one of those people who values tradition.You enjoy a slow pace of life. You believe that life is all about enjoying every moment.You love the changing of the seasons, and you look forward to what each season brings.You are smart and a bit obsessive. You become very immersed in your interests.

Actually that's not too far off although how they got that from the questions they asked I will never know lol. I'll try and pop back tomorrow and do a proper blog post.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I'm getting worse at this blogging thing lol

I suppose I should start by recapping what's happened between the last time I posted and now lol. I can't remember if I mentioned it or whether it was supposed to be part of the Legoland post (that I still haven't got around to writing), but Lukas's crocs rubbed his feet really badly. Long story short they were a lot worse than they looked at first. Wednesday night he was up here playing while I was doing something for Nan and all of a sudden he started screaming. Came downstairs in a panic with blood all over his foot. A little bit of blood goes a long way and he kind of freaked at the sight of so much of it. I ended up having to bath him to clean it all up and spending nearly an hour trying to calm him down completely. I had to go through all the cupboard looking for plasters for him. It's amazing how complicated my stupid latex allergy makes things, even putting a plaster on isn't a simple process since I can't touch most of them lol. Anyway he eventually calmed down once they had sudocream and plasters on. Only problem was they kind of kept bleeding every time he moved too much or tried to walk and seeing the little bit of blood on the plaster freaked him out all over again. So I promised him he could stay home from school on Thursday but that he would have to come to my midwife appointment with me. Talk about magic words, he had already been sulking because he was going to miss it. For the rest of the evening he mostly forgot about his feet unless he moved and they hurt or bled. The midwife appointment went fine, Fidget even cooperated for the most part and let her listen to his heartbeat (even if he did kick her lol). It's quite funny when they ask can you feel the baby moving ok and then say oh never mind, I can see the baby moving lol. After that we went to try out Subway's new snack menu, that's the only advantage of my doctors is the food places and tesco that are about 2 minutes away from it lol. Lukas tried their pepperoni pizza thing and me and Mark opted for their mini breakfast wrap minus the beans. Lukas wasn't keen on the sauce they used but he still finished it all and we really enjoyed ours. Do you remember how I said in the last post that I had no plans for Friday? Well it wasn't until Friday morning that I remembered why I had made no plans for that day, it was because Nan was going into hospital to have her surgery on her leg oops lol. I had been up all night feeling rough and went down to see her before I went to bed. Luckily for me I wasn't the one going with her and I was only supposed to be here to answer the phone calls from everyone wanting to know how it had gone but even I am surprised that it slipped my mind. I kind of have the mind of a goldfish lately. I managed to get about 2 hours of sleep though. Her surgery went quite well but I was more than a little surprised when Nan rung me and said she was on her way home. I thought since she had been under general anaesthetic for at least 3 hours they would have kept her in but nope they let her come home. She was quite hyper on the phone and still a little that way when she got home. She was a lot more normal as the painkillers started to wear off. I had to help her with quite a few things and I don't mind that I really don't but it's kind of hard when all you really want to do is go to bed and go to sleep. It was almost 1am before I even made it to bed and then Saturday morning I was up at 5am to help her down the stairs and make her a coffee etc. I felt bad leaving her downstairs in her chair with instructions to call my mobile if she wanted anything and went back to bed. I managed a few hours sleep and then it was back to helping her with bits here and there. It helps a lot that she is so stubborn and wants to do everything for herself, I was feeling so ill I don't know how we would have managed if she had needed more assistance. It was Saturday evening when her television suddenly decided to stop working. We had to call someone to try and fix it, he couldn't do anything with it but was nice enough to rig up the small television from downstairs so she at least had something to watch. Saturday night when I went to bed I was feeling a lot worse than I had been all day. I got woken up with pain in my stomach a little while before Nan rang my phone and wanted to get up at 4am. She was a lot worse that morning than she had been the day before, she was really stiff and the bruising had all started to come out properly. I made her a coffee and got her all settled and came back up intending to go to sleep. Since my stomach was hurting quite a bit I decided to take some painkillers and sit on my computer for a while while I waited for them to work. The pain got worse and seemed to be coming from the middle of my back and going through to my stomach. It finally got too hard to sit in the chair about 9am. I tried laying in the bed to see if that helped and ended up falling asleep. The pain got worse through the day and I spent the majority of it in the bed. We considered calling a doctor but decided that the best option would be to call the hospital if it didn't get better. I will admit that by Sunday night we were starting to get a little bit worried that Fidget might be wanting to make his appearance even earlier than we thought he would. Mark was great and helped Nan out with a few things, but mostly she got by on sheer determination and having no choice lol. Yesterday when I got up the pain was still there but not any worse. We decided that for now we didn't need to call anyone and it was fine to just wait and see. I didn't do a great deal yesterday except a couple of layouts. Today I am really not feeling great but unless anything changes I am not going to bother ringing the hospital. They will only tell me to rest and take it easy like they do every time. It usually goes something like this when I phone them, they tell me to come in, I go in they check me over and say they think I should stay in for observation, I refuse, they argue, I go home. I'm not stupid I know what things are a problem worth contacting them about and which things can be left for now at least. I have an appointment Monday so worst case scenario I will get checked out then. I am going to leave this for now, it's hurting my back to sit here so I am going to go and have a lay down for a little while. If I am about later I will try and make time to show you some of the layouts I have done since I posted last. If you don't want to wait for me to post you can see all of my layouts by clicking the blinkie on the right or clicking here to see just the ones from this month.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

It was a busy weekend

and it's Wednesday today and I still feel for the want of a better term hungover from it. Friday was spent doing some shopping and downloading and making some hard drive space. Saturday was National Scrapbooking Day and even though I had been really looking forward to the day I ended up feeling too sick to really do much. I did a bit of scrapping and forum reading but stayed away from chats as I felt I wouldn't be able to keep up. It wasn't a bad day overall since I managed to get 3 layouts completed. This is the first National Scrapbooking Day I can remember since I started scrapping where I haven't spent the day rushing around trying to take everything in. I was hoping I would get some challenge done here and there but never managed it, I had already picked up the stuff I wanted in the sales and in the end I can't say there was really anything I sat there thinking, I wish I had done that. It just makes me wonder where along the way I lost interest in it all. I don't even get the same thrill out of creating layouts that I used to, I mean I enjoy it but not in the same way. Maybe it's just because of feeling so ill and the pregnancy I don't know. Sunday was our trip to Legoland that really deserves a post of its own, I just can't be bothered today lol. Monday was a bank holiday so Lukas was off school and we both spent the majority of the day trying to get over the day before. Yesterday I spent the day trying to scrap and spending some time leaving love on the other Queen Of Scrap layouts at Scrap Matters. As for today I am not entirely sure where the time has gone. I got up, had a bath, got dressed, had some food and then Lukas was home. I have been kind of sitting here not doing much since then apart from bathing him and feeding him. He's playing the laptop I am considering starting a layout and kind of hoping he will go to bed soon so I can join him lol. Tomorrow I have a midwife appointment and it's Mark's day off work so I probably won't get much done then either. As far as I know we have no plans for Friday or the weekend I am just hoping I will be feeling a little bit better by then. *sigh* anyway I have a few layouts to share with you the first one was created using a new collab kit by Royanna and Karen Heckathorne (KarenHeckYeah) called Kitschy Chic, it was released in the store today so I can share it now.

Credits: Layered template (NSD Freebie 09) by Chrissy W and Kitschy Chic by Royanna Lea Fritschmann and Karen Heckathorne (KarenHeckYeah). Font is Unnamed Melody.
The other 3 were the ones I made on Saturday for the Queen Of Scrap contest at Scrap Matters, some of the other girls have already scrapped 20+ layouts, but I never signed up for it with the intention to win I just wanted some motivation to scrap.

Credits: Layered template (Digi Journal Set 1, Template 2) by Britt-ish Designs and EZ Dreams by Erica Zane. Font is DJB Mandy by Darcy Baldwin.

Journalling reads: Dear Fidget, When I found out that I was pregnant this time around, I felt as if I had been thrown into a kind of emotional blender. I was happy and scared, terrified and excited, nervous and thrilled all at the same time. With everything that has happened in the past we knew things were never going to be plain sailing. We just crossed our fingers and hoped that this time things would be different. Before every scan we had the fear in the back of our minds that this might be the day they told us it had all gone wrong again, but with each view of your heartbeat we allowed a little bit more hope to creep in. Unfortunately the fears still lingered for us all, and as we got closer to finding out your sex new ones started to blossom in my heart. I worried that you would replace Leo, and the only way I was able to calm these fears was to hope with all my heart and soul that you were a girl. When they did the scan and said you were a boy, I honestly felt like my heart broke into a million pieces. I was suddenly so filled with panic that I couldn’t bring myself to acknowledge you in any way. I couldn’t allow myself to love you because I would be betraying Leo, I wanted to hate you but my heart wouldn’t let me. I felt so lost within myself, and so confused by my own emotions. For the first few days after we found out I pretty much did nothing but cry. Everytime instinct made me want to touch my stomach I pulled my hands away and was furious with myself. My head was telling me that it was wrong to connect with you but my heart disagreed. I felt like I was being pulled in so many directions and fighting a constant battle with myself. I thought about Leo a lot, sometimes when you moved it felt as though you were mocking me. Taunting me that you were here and he wasn’t. When I looked at Lukas and I saw how excited he was to be having another baby brother I was even more confused. More than anything I couldn’t bear that you would replace Leo in his heart. It took me a while to realise that it didn’t matter how I felt. I could stop myself from loving you about as easily as I could stop the sun from rising each day. You had already captured a piece of my heart for yourself the minute I saw those two lines on the pregnancy test. It will get easier with time, but until it does just know that i’m sorry for the way I feel and I love you.

Credits: Layered template (Tuesday Template, 18th November 08) by Jeni Hopewell, Space Ranger and Tabby Dates by Britt-ish Designs and Sweet Treats by Jeannie Papai. Font is DJB Miss Liz by Darcy Baldwin.

Journalling reads: When I asked you what you wanted to dress up as for Halloween, you told me that wanted to be Buzz Lightyear from the disney film Toy Story. I went to all of the usual toy shops and had no luck finding a costume. I decided that my best option would be to try and buy you one on Ebay. After many hours of me searching I stumbled across on in your size, placed a bid and kept my fingers crossed I would win it so you wouldn’t be disappointed. I ended up paying a lot more than I wanted to but figured you were worth it. When it arrived you were really excited, and couldn’t wait to put it on. Only once it was on the novelty of wearing it lasted about 5 minutes. In the days leading up to Halloween I asked you if you were excited about going trick or treating. It was then you decided to tell me that you had changed your mind and didn’t want to go trick or treating or dress up. When Halloween came I spent the evening asking if you were sure you didn’t want to go. But when a friend from school knocked on the door in costume you changed your mind. Then came a mad rush for me to find your costume, put it on you and find something for you to put your goodies into. I ended up covering a bucket in tin foil. We walked to the end of the street and you announced that you were fed up and wanted to go home. It wasn’t until afterwards that I realised I hadn’t even taken any photos of you dressed up. and you refused to even entertain the possibility of dressing up again for me. It wasn’t exactly a happy halloween that year!

Credits: Layered template (Keep It Simple Sweetie June, Template 2) by Angela and Emily Powers, Space Ranger by Britt-ish Designs and Sparkalicious Stitches by Kami Leonard (Ziggle Designs). Font is DJB Malea by Darcy Baldwin.

Journalling reads: I can’t remember who it was that bought you this Buzz Lightyear car, but they obviously have great taste. This is one of the few toys you really like to play with and always seem happy to find in the toybox. You can spend hours at a time just pushing it around the house. You make up stories about Buzz and even do sound effects. It’s worth the headache to see you so happy.

I will be back to add the enabling later or more likely tomorrow. Right now I have a few things I need to try and find the motivation to do like check my emails lol.

Friday, May 01, 2009

I can't remember the last time

I felt this content and happy. Don't get me wrong life is not all sunshine and roses here my ears are still bad and I had to miss Lukas doing his maypole dancing at school this morning because I was too sick to go but I don't feel depressed about it. It might be because I have things to look forward to like National Scrapbooking Day tomorrow and our trip to Legoland on Sunday. It might be because I got some sleep last night. I don't really know what it is but today has been a good day and i'm loving it. Mark went and saw Lukas dancing and welly wanging, and videoed it all for me. He also saw they were selling bacon sandwiches and was nice enough to bring one back for me and he bought me presents lol. He told me I could buy some digital scrapbooking stuff, and didn't even set me a limit. I have spent the majority of today downloading stuff and making space on my hard drives for anything else I want to add to my collection. I was quite restrained with my spending, for me lol. It was so nice today to just spend some time snuggling with Mark while Lukas was at school. Nan's seems in a better temper since the argument I had with her the other day. I'm not sure if it was because she saw how ill I was yesterday when I spent almost the whole day in bed, or maybe it's just because I have been busy on my computer and haven't seen much of her today. I don't really care what the reason is all I am bothered about is that today is a good day and I am taking full advantage of it. I am going to enjoy every single arguement free second, and sit here admiring all my pretty new digital goodies.