Credits: Layered template (Beautiful Life, Template 1) by Little Bit Shoppe Designs and I Love Ice Cream Elements, I Love Ice Cream Embossed Solids and I Love Ice Cream Patterned Papers all by Jen C Designs. Font is Pea Picky Panda by Amanda Bottoms (Fonts For Peas).
Journalling reads: Although this may seem like a fairly innocent candid holiday shot, I can’t look at this photo, without hearing your voice in my head telling me “I hate this photo” and complaining “why did they have to take pictures of me eating” It always used to make me laugh. You were obviously enjoying just sitting by the pool in your folding chair, eating your ice cream cone. Yet seeing the photograph made you feel embarassed and uncomfortable. There is no way that you couldn’t have known they were taking this, yet you never told them to stop. There were lots of small ways that you did things like this, either because you knew it was making other people happy or just because it seemed like too much effort to speak up. I’m really going to miss you confiding in me about the things that annoyed you.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
Credits: Layered template (All About Paper, Template 2) by Moments Scrapped and CU Edge Genius Volume 2, In Bloom Alphas, In Bloom Feltie Flowers, In Bloom Buttons, Strings and Things and In Bloom Solids all by Mad Genius Designs.
Credits: Layered template (Blending Basics Vol.1, Template 1) by Little Bit Shoppe Designs, CU Stitching Actions by Mommyish Designs and A Boy's Life by Jen C Designs. Font is The Serifs Sister by Heather Hess.
Journalling reads: On our visit to Cotswold Wildlife Park with your nursery, the day was much hotter than we expected. By the time we arrived at one of the picnic areas, we were all ready for a nice cold drink. Despite the fact that you had plenty of drink of your own, you decided that you wanted to drink out of my water bottle filled with Diet Coke. You grabbed the bottle off of the table and then ran off laughing with it, so cheeky. 18th July 06.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Credits: Layered template (Block It, Template 2) by Moments Scrapped and In Bloom Alphas, In Bloom Solids, In Bloom Buttons, Strings and Things and In Bloom Feltie Flowers all by Mad Genius Designs.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Credits; Layered template (Shout It Out, Template 1) by Little Bit Shoppe Designs, CU Stitching Actions by Mommyish Designs and My Story March by Jen C Designs. Font is The Thickest by Heather Hess.
Journalling reads: Today is Mother’s Day, and I will be the first one to admit that it is harder than I thought it would be. It’s one of those holidays that always seems to leave me feeling sad. I’ve spent it grieving for babies I never got the chance to be a mother to. I’ve have spent it feeling miserable for friends and even people I have never met, who never even got the chance to experience what being a mother is like. I’ve spent so many of them crying, tears that just can’t be dried but through them all there has always been you. I may never have called you Mum, it’s just not a label I needed to give you, but you knew how special you were to me. I always bought or made you a mothers day card. Looking back it’s kind of funny, I remember when I was younger I often had to borrow money from you while we were out shopping and then try and buy you a card or a gift in secret. Even though you always knew exactly what I was doing, you always pretended to be surprised and pleased with whatever piece of tat that I chose for you. You kept nearly all of them, I know because I sorted through all of them. Both you and I know that there was nothing in them that your ears hadn’t heard my lips say a million times. I hope that you will forgive me for not feeling the need to keep them. I remember all of the times that I spent ages standing in the card shop picking you the “perfect” card and then lost/misplaced it and had to go back again to replace it. I remember that every single time, that for one reason or another you never ended up getting it on Mother’s Day. It became a bit of a running joke, you always used to tell me you would “die of shock if you actually got one on time”. But you never once made me feel bad about it, no matter how late they were. Yesterday I started tidying my desk and I found 3 Mother’s Day cards, still in the wrapping that you never received. Are you surprised that I hadn’t gotten around to getting you a card this year either, that I had ideas for gifts that I never got around to making. I had it in the back of my head to do it, but I always “still had time”. I’m sorry for being such a screw up, but I know in my heart that you never took it personally. No amount of cards could ever tell you how much I loved you, how much you meant to me and I know that you understood that, but still I feel guilty. I always thought that when you were not around any more I would spend every minute wishing for a few more seconds with you, I would have regrets for all the words I hadn’t found the time to say, but I haven’t. My heart hearts and I miss you, of course I do, but I would suffer this a million times over just so you don’t have to feel any pain. I will willingly take every sleepless night and bad dream safe in the knowledge that you have peace now. Today I am going to light a candle for you, bake cakes with the kids and try and pretend that I am having a lovely Mother’s Day, just like you always wanted. Safe in the knowledge that you don’t need me to tell you that I am never not thinking of you and missing you every day until we are together again in heaven. Happy Mothers Day Nan. Love you.
Credits: Layered template (Stocking Stuffers, Template 1) by Little Bit Shoppe Designs, CU Stitching Action by Mommyish Designs, Alpha Split by Jessica Gorny and A Boy's Life Elements, A Boy's Life Solids, A Boy's Life Patterns Mini and A Boy's Life Glitters all by Jen C Designs. Fonts are The Blue Cabin by Amanda Bottoms (Fonts For Peas) and The Sketchy Serif by Heather Hess.
Journalling reads: We have never been really good with time and schedules or anything “normal”. We wake up later than most people, we go to sleep later than most people and we have never let the fact, that it might be dark outside stop us doing anything. Add in the fact that I kind of like being the parent who says “yes” and “why not” and it keeps things interesting. Opposite our house we have a park that is really well lit by all of the street lights. This isn’t the first time we have made a late night trip across the road to play in the park, but for some reason I can’t quite remember, I had decided to play with the camera on this one. I don’t get much practice taking photos in the dark, so I had a lot of fun playing with the different settings and the flash while you played on everything with Daddy, This rocking spring fish is always one of your favourite things to play on, day or night. I really hope that some day when you have your own children, you will also be the kind of parent who does crazy things like this too, just remember it’s much more fun to say “Yes” than it is too deal with the miserable child you get when you say “No” and being “normal” is over rated and more than a little bit boring. Photos taken 21st August 2011.
Saturday, March 09, 2013
Credits: Layered template (Christmas Gift, Template 1) by Little Bit Shoppe Designs and A Boy's Life Paper Alphas, A Boy's Life Elements, A Boy's Life Overlays, A Boy's Life Solids, A Boy's Life Patterns Mini and A Boy's Life Glitters all by Jen C Designs. Font is The Blockhead by Heather Hess.
Journalling reads: It’s funny how kids can remember some events, no matter how small months or even years after they happened. I was browsing through photos looking for something and came across these, the boys instantly remembered all the details. Since there will probably come a day where they don’t remember any more so I wanted to record it for them. We were on our way to visit Nan one evening. It was dark and cold and raining. The boys were arguing about something as we got off the bus and were walking up by the allotment. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something move. I remember feeling slightly scared and sick at the idea that it might be a mouse or a rat. Then in the dim glow of the street lights we saw that it was a frog in the middle of the path (or maybe it was a toad I haven’t a clue, except that it was green and it hopped). The boys were fascinated by it, to my knowledge neither of them had ever seen a frog before. Lukas kept asking me how it had ended up in the middle of the path, when there isn’t any water nearby. They don’t really like it when I can’t give them an answer to their questions. They wanted to touch it and said No and I am not sure that they forgave me for saying that we couldn’t try and catch it to keep as a pet. Bit they did ask if they could have a photograph to show it to Daddy and tell him all about it when he got home from work. I felt obliged to kneel down on the wet pavement, careful to avoid the puddles to try and take a photo with my mobile phone for them. The photos were dark and blurry and you could hardly even see what was in them because I was worried about getting to close and scaring it. but they were enough to make the boys happy, . I remember Nan laughing as they told her about meeting “Kermit” and her telling me that, only I would have been mad enough to stand out in the rain and get myself all wet and muddy just to take a photo of it for them. I knew she understood that to me it was worth it if it made the boys smile. They both took great pride in telling everyone this story for a while. Photos taken 17th March 2012.
Friday, March 08, 2013
Credits: Layered template (365 A Year, Template 2) by Moments Scrapped, Layered Cards Love by Cindy Schneider (rotated 90 degrees), CU Stitching Action by Mommyish Designs and So Happy by Jen C Designs. Font is The Continental by Heather Hess.
Journalling reads: We don’t have a huge number of photographs of Leo, and the ones we do have are almost all taken in the Special Care Baby Unit at the hospital. Since the day to day routine is pretty much the same with the exception of challenges and issues that occur, it’s kind of hard to keep track of what day it is. So I took a different approach when organizing all of his photographs. I labelled each of the folders by the main colour in them, then I had extra folders with Leo and Daddy, Leo and Mummy and Leo and Lukas. There really isn’t that much that I can tell you about these photographs. I can tell you from the date that he was 2 days old when they were taken. I can tell you from the content that he laid in an incubator, I can tell you that he was on a ventilator and various monitors and that he was still to small for the micro size nappies. I can tell you from the colouring of them that he was very jaundiced and I can tell you that I loathed that little yellow blanket they had laid him on. What none of these photos, or any others that we have of him for that matter can tell you is just how much he was loved, how hard it was to come home and leave him there every night and how much I miss him every single day, only I can do that.
Thursday, March 07, 2013
Credits: Layered template (Gingerbread Dreams, Template 1) by Little Bit Shoppe Designs and December Daily 2012 Jelly Christmas Bits, December Daily 2012 Attach It, December Daily 2012 Painty Bits, December Daily 2012 More Frames, December Daily 2012 Star Stackers, December Daily 2012 Ribbons, Strings and Bows, December Daily 2012 Basic Patterned Papers, December Daily 2012 Journal Strips and December Daily 2012 Fancy Papers Alphas all by Mad Genius Designs. Font is Love Ya Like A Sister by Kimberly Geswein.
Journalling reads: Christmas photos are always a challenge, your excitement makes it hard for you to sit still long opening any of your presents. Once you add in all of the piles of wrapping papers, it’s really hard to capture all of your excitement. enough for me to photograph you Even though these photos are all blurry and out of focus, I really love the range of expressions I saw as you opened your red toy fire engine.
Friday, March 01, 2013
Credits: Layered template (Box Blocks, Template 1) by Little Bit Shoppe Designs and My Happy Place by Jen C Designs. Font is Teen by Laramie Fonts.
Journalling reads: Nan always wanted a playhouse for the back garden for you to play in. When she couldn’t find one that was suitable she decided to go with the next best thing, she put up a kiddy gazebo out in the back garden for you to call your “house”. But she wouldn’t have been Nan if she stopped there, she added a rug on the floor, and a bench for you to sit on and even added some lights. Then she added a tent next to it so you had more space. You spent many happy hours sitting out in it, usually with Nan sitting beside you on a garden chair to read you stories. Photos taken 14th March 2007.
Credits: Layered template (Butterfly Kisses, Template 1) by Little Bit Shoppe Designs and My Happy Place by Jen C Designs. Font is LD Wedding.
Journalling reads: Feel no guilt in laughter, she'd know how much you care. Feel no sorrow in a smile that she is not here to share. You cannot grieve forever, she would not want you to. She'd hope that you could carry on the way you always do. So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared, The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared. Let memories surround you, a word someone may say Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day, That brings her back as clearly as though she were still here, And fills you with the feeling that she is always near. For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart, And she will live forever locked safely within your heart.