Wednesday, January 21, 2009

10 days without any kind of update

is bad even for me. In my defense though I have spent the majority of that time in my bed, and I think I would go as far as saying I think the 2 previous posts were written from here too lol. I haven't even been to my mum's or seen the kids for at least a week. Now where to start? Um how about last Wednesday when my midwife appointment got changed to an emergency doctors appointment because of abdominal pain and bleeding? That certainly made for an interesting day, we had to go and collect Lukas early from school to make the only time the doctor could offer me. When we got there we had all the usual questions and things to answer. I baffled the poor woman with my history and she was really mad about some of the things the doctor I first saw when I found out I was pregnant had handled things. She had to exam me etc and although she couldn't find any reason for the bleeding she did see a few other things that were slightly unusual. I left the doctors with antibiotics since they think I have a severe infection and an appointment for the 1st emergency scan (since they were fearing ectopic pregnancy) she could schedule - Friday morning at 8:30am! You know by now that I DO NOT DO MORNINGS lol. That was another fun day. Lukas had to take the day off school because we didn't know how long we were going to be at the hospital, experiences vary and we have on occasion had an early morning appointment and not left the hospital until the late evening. I never went to bed because I knew I wouldn't be able to get up. We had to sit around for a long time waiting for the receptionist to stop gossiping and actually sit at her desk. Stupid really that reception doesn't open until 8:30 and that's when my scan appointment was scheduled for. Then it was sitting down filling out a form and being asked over and over again why I didn't have a letter from my doctor about the appointment, um because she never gave me one lol. Then we had to sit around and wait again, and then I got called into the room to give them my history. Nurse was quite rude, it started when she didn't actually listen to what I was telling her. Then moved on to an issue when she asked me a question about smear tests. "When was your last one" was answered with "I don't think I have ever had one" which is true I don't ever remember having one, and then she got quite abrupt with me and rambled on something about keeping appointments, I told her I had never had an appointment for one to my knowledge and then she decided to ask how old I was. When I told her I was 24 just she shut up rather abruptly and said "oh, your not old enough to have been given one" um ok lol. I wasn't sure whether to be insulted that she obviously thought I was a lot older than 24 or that she failed to notice my date of birth all over the form lol. When we got called into the scan room the sonographer told us she would be back in a minute, she had to go take a call. We were left sitting in the scan room on our own with a flickering light driving my already tired head slightly insane. The seizures (or whatever they want to call them) I have aren't always affected by lights, the exception is when I am tired or pregnant lol. Mark has often told me about the time a passing police car triggered one when I was pregnant with Lukas and I kind of nearly got run over lol. Ended up in hospital that time. I'm kind of oblivious when it comes to them since I don't actually know I have had one until someone tells me afterwards. It's a long and confusing issue that isn't actually relevant to today's post lol but I am rambling. Anyway since I don't wear a watch I don't know exactly how long the sonographer took, seemed ages but when she did come back in she was super quick. Was very amused to see that since I was pregnant last time, they had taken to having latex free condoms in each scan room to use as transvaginal probe covers (which if you don't know are normally latex and therefore not safe to use on me). Last time they had to use a blue nitrile glove tied around it. We suggested the latex free condoms as an alternative when I was pregnant with either Gaiebraille or Leo but it's nice to see they finally have one lol. When she tried to do an abdominal scan I got in trouble because I hadn't had anything to drink. Urgent Gynae clinic is somewhere we have been many times before, the advice or instructions regarding drink/food varies everytime. We have had everything from nothing after midnight the night before, to only water, only clear fluids, neither until you have seen the doctor, neither until after the scan the list goes on and on. It's no big deal really she just scanned from the bottom up instead. Had to laugh at the question "Have you ever had this procedure before?" and slightly got the giggles at the look on her face when I replied "hundreds of times" lol. Lukas suddenly decided that looking at what she was doing was fascinating. I took a lot of "just play your DS", "read your comic" and "Lukas can you see that on the screen" before he decided that there were far more interesting things than me lol. Have to say it was the quickest scan I have ever had, she found that Takara Bean was where she should be and came complete with heartbeat in less than a minute which was very reassuring. What was slightly less reassuring though was that the Takara's size and my dates don't add up. It's nothing new for us though we are used to dates and relative size of the baby not adding up. We have a new due date of 27th August (I did update the little ticker in the sidebar to reflect that, because I wanted to make it accurate to the baby's size. But I also want to be accurate to my dates so I added another one with a different image lol) but due dates are really irrelevant since no doubt Takara Bean will come whenever and wherever it feels inclined, just like the boys did. After that we had more waiting around and they asked for a urine sample. I went into the toilets to do one and despite pulling and locking the door someone managed to walk in on me while I was trying to pee into the tiny pot lol. It's just one of those things that you kind of think they could only happen to me lol. After some more waiting around we saw a very lovely doctor who was even more throughly confused by me than anyone else. He was very much relieved that the Silver Star Team would be taking over my maternity care and they would be left to untangle my complicated medical history lol. Even though Silver Star usually make me have frequent scans under there care I was advised to book my 20 week anomaly scan while we were there to ensure I was given one. So we wondered upstairs and did that. When we got there we were informed that I already had a scan booked, which was news to us. The nice receptionist wondered off to see what it was booked for and who booked it. Only to be throughly baffled to find that the original doctor I saw at the GP's had requested a dating scan for the 29th January. I already knew my dates so I shouldn't have needed a dating scan and for the date she requested according to my dates I would have been 15/16 weeks pregnant. It was really odd and neither us nor the receptionist could understand why anyone would have booked an appointment for then. That one was cancelled and a 20 week scan appointment was made for April 20th. If Silver Star want to scan me before then (likely) or want to do the 20 week scan themselves (usual for them) they can cancel it. Lukas insisted on buying a teddy bear for himself and a teddy bear for the baby from the S.C.B.U stall. Although by the time we got home he had changed his mind so many times about which one he wanted we came to an agreement that he could look after both and decide which one was for the baby when it was born lol. I have a midwife appointment in a few hours, and I really should be asleep but the pain in my stomach and my back is keeping me awake. I will try and get back tomorrow and show you my first scan picture, let you know what happened at the midwife appointment and update you on the other stuff that has been going on (like our 2nd wedding anniversary lol). Lukas has to have yet another day off school thanks to the only appointment time available and not being able to get him to school and be at the doctors on time. Hopefully once tomorrow's (well today would be more accurate I suppose) appointment is done we will be able to sort things out a little better.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

From Our Blog To Yours - Snow Test

Yes I know I should be updating you on some stuff but I don't have the time or the energy today. But I did promise Mark I wouldn't do any shopping today, so while Lukas is playing I am doing a few of the quicker challenges to earn sweet reward points. There are lots of new releases I have my eye on today, so I have to earn as much discount as I can manage 40% would help a lot but I can't really see it happening lol. So this is the From Our Blog To Yours Challenge from the 8th January, a quick quiz about snow. Here are the results. I will try and get back later and update on the other stuff that is going on but I am not making any promises that I will manage it.




Your Snow Test Says You're Independent



You feel like something good will happen to you in the next few months. You love to work, especially when work is creative. You have the makings of a successful artist. You are an independent, individualistic person. You thrive when you're doing your own thing. Your biggest worry in life is your family. You stay up at night thinking about them. When it comes time to relax, you really indulge. You are all about your favorite comforts.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Not such a happy new year

If you had told me at Christmas that come January the 2nd I would have been spending almost the whole day at mym mum's house I would have laughed, told you that you were nuts and then wondered off to hunt down that phone number for the local funny farm. If you had told me that there would ever come a point in my life where I actually felt something other than dislie at best towards my mother I would have thought you were definately a not the sharpest knife in the drawer and you would definately way on your way to crazy town. Yet stuff has a way of making you do things you didn't ever think you would do, say words you didn't ever think you would say and think things you never thought you would say. A simple thing like a phone call can change everything. When Nan called me this morning (yes we live in the same house and she calls me what's your point? lol) at first I thought she was joking when she said that my mum had phoned her and my stepdad Karl had left her. Infact I would even go as far as admitting that at that point my thoughts were who could blame him and how did he put up with her for so long. See I didn't know the full facts at that point and my feelings towards my mum clouded my judgement. But the first thing I said was what can I do to help. I was worried that Nan said the kids were crying and upset I wanted to help them not my mum. So I got dressed and I dressed Lukas and we walked down there. After hearing the full story and giving the kids lots of hugs and affection I changed my mind. What he did was completely unforgiveable. He left in the middle of the night, packed clothes and other stuff. Never took a photograph of the kids with him, or the gifts with daddy on them he received for christmnas. He didn't leave them a note, or an explanation of any kind. Then later when Gavin got there he called a friend of theirs to see if she knew anything my mum was scared incase he has decided to run off with the friend so she couldn't do it. Then everything kind of got worse, not only had he not run off with this friend, he had borrowed £100 in cash from this person. After I came home (I couldn't stand the smoking and noise anymore and I had to make Lukas's dinner) then it got even worse. Gavin decided to look on his facebook and email accounts to see if he had left any clue about his plans there. He wasn't really expecting to find very public intentions for an affair with some woman my stepdad has met online 3 weeks ago. Very graphic details that were in a place where my brothers and sisters could have seen them without going looking for them. Right now I feel sorry for my mum. I think he is the lowest form of human life. What man would leave his 7 kids including one who is disabled and only recently had major surgery to follow his cock? They deserved better than that even if it was only an insincere note saying he was leaving. He's an asshole and he doesn't deserve to be part of their life right now I hope he gets some awful disease from his stupid online whore and suffers horribly. He should be glad he has gone all the way to the other end of the country because I think that if he was close enough my mum or Gavin might tear him limb from limb. It's not even like he has run off on a spur of the moment thing to leave the way he did must have taken a lot more than 3 weeks planning. I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormomes or what but I ended up bursting into tears earlier and begging Mark never to do the same. Usually if we discuss him leaving with another woman he gets something more like go right ahead but you will be leaving with all the useful parts in a doggy bag. I can't believe that today I was a snot filled tearstained wreck begging him to please never ever do anything like that. Takara Bean you are messing with my head baby lol. I'm not all needy and emotional infact I am a little bit more like my mum than I thought she was more angry that he had done it than hurt by his actions. I take comfort from the fact that one day he is going to wake up either with this tart, some other one or probably by himself a lonely old man and he is going to wish he hadn't done this. He's going to miss those kids and be full of regret. All I can say to that is good I hope it really hurts, and he cries just like they did today.