1. I don't drink very often, I have never drunk champagne before and I had nothing apart from an orange for breakfast to eat. No-one warned me of how lethal it was.
2. I was functioning on two hours sleep.
3. I dance like a loon whether I am drunk or not lol.
Ok so those are my defences for the pictures that you will see at the bottom of this post rofl.
So here goes, when we got back to the reception I had already had a bottle of vodka mixer and a glass of champagne, but I was still sober and I managed to drop my wedding dress in a puddle. Amazingly Mark had already gotten out of the car and gone around and opened the door, it never occured to him to say "Mind the puddle" before my dress went in it.Typical man lol.We walked into the hall expecting to see our guests standing around with glasses of champagne and orange juice and the disco to be playing. High hopes the disco was just being unloaded and there was hardly anyone there. Oops lol.Eventually the disco was set up and people started to trickle in. We posed for photographs, I realised how much smiling hurts and I got rid of the high shoes I could barely walk in, swapping them for the lovely green/turquoise platforms. (I never said I was conventional). Then I decided I needed the loo, hitched dress up a fair bit so I could get up the stairs, note to self tiny cubicle, huge amounts of material not a good mix lol. While trying to hitch up the dress enough so none of the parts fell down the loo I managed to whack my hip on the loo roll (charming bruise the following day lol). My darling dad who has never been known for his role model skills kept buying my alcohol, and as the night went on I got more and more drunk lol.We finally got around to making speeches, but no-one could hear them because of the static/feedback from the microphones and the fact that the charming DJ couldn't even be bothered to turn off the music and announce us. The worst part is the DJ was my uncle!
We didn't have a first dance because the CD I provided apparently didn't work (but it had played fine in the registry office) and Andrew never bothered to find a suitable alternative
I very vaguely remember cutting the cake and then I went to sleep. Yep you did read that right I fell asleep at my own wedding. I was home and in my bed by 10:30pm leaving everyone else to party the night away. I don't recall some of this dancing but I had a fab time lol. Everyone said they had a great time. Even though the night ended with a slight disagreement between my uncle Malcolm and my uncle Andrew (the DJ) after the music was turned off with no warning while the floor was full of dancers, but hey I wasn't there so I can't comment.
I was also told when they woke me up to go home I burst into tears about my mum not being there. She really did ruin what should have been a perfect day and this time she did it by not even being there.So time for some pictures.
First off I have some from the lovely photographer, what I refer to as the posed ones. Please note bride actually has bouquet roflmao.
Mark with Conor (The Best Man)
Me and Nan (Great Grandmother for anyone that doesn't know)
Me and my Dad
I could now show you pictures of Marks parents etc, but I am not going to and would you like to know why?Because they came to our wedding and told everyone that they weren't staying because they were going to a banger racing party. When we first told them the date of the wedding Mark's mum had said to me that it was the same day as the Banger Racing party but I didn't actually think she meant anything by it. When they left early and please note we left at 10:30 and they had been gone ages, we thought she was feeling ill because of the cancer. So when I bullied Mark into phoning and checking she was ok and she replied that they had a great time at the Banger Racing party, I hit the roof!
It's just so bloody ignorant leaving your own child's wedding to go to a Banger Racing party.
They didn't even see us cut the cake, and then when Mark gave her a bottle of champagne that had been left over I went mental again. So we have spent most of the first week of married life arguing about his bloody parents. I won't speak to them because I am furious with them and I will say everything thats on my mind. But then I would look bad for shouting the odds at a woman with cancer, so silent is better. Anyway I promised you pictures of me making a complete fool of myself didn't I, Better start another post for that because blogger doesn't cope well with lots of picures in one post.
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