Bad Bad Bad

Marks mum had her appointment with her consultant today, about the course of action they intended to pursue with her breast cancer. He has decided the best thing he can do is to perform a mastectomy. She was devastated. Then he gave her even more bad news because she had radiotherapy last time it would be a year before he could perform rescontructive surgery.
I felt like my heart broke for her when she told me. I just hugged her while she cried. Shes petrified that Andy won't want to look at her and won't love her anymore. She worships the ground that git walks on. I tried to reassure her but nothing worked. Obviously he wasn't around as per usual, they came in from the hospital and he went straight upstairs to play the computer. When I went up to try and talk to him about how sad she was he tried to touch me up again, asshole. Today is also my darling Leo's birthday. He would have been two today. I miss him so much it hurts. I want to release a balloon for him to let him know i'm still thinking of him.
Something amazing happened today though I won a prize in a photography competition.
Doesn't sound very amazing does it, but it was a picture of Leo and the competition was called Oh Angel Baby over at www.divinedigital.com you can see the picture here and the category was Best Shot of Innocence of a Baby. It made me cry when I read it. I have done a lot of crying today, it all just seems to much to take. Things just seem to go wrong one after the other. I just want some time even if its only a week in my life thats not filled with abuse, rape, assault, hurt, pain or loss. Thats not a lot to want is it?