This blog contains the ramblings of one crazy mummy. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own. If it offends you feel free not to read it. You will often find moans, whinges, lists of my digiscrapping purchases and even the occasional freebie. I accept no responsibility at all for any purchases that result from reading my blog lol.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Kids say the strangest things
Me: Lukas do you think I am a bad mumy?
Lukas: Yes
Me: Do you want a different mummy?
Lukas: No I Love you
Me: But you just said I was a bad mummy
Lukas: Not bad just different, and I love you.
Me: So are you happy with mummy?
Lukas: Yes you're my best friend
Me: Does it make you sad when mummy is poorly and can't play with you?
Lukas: Yes, I miss you, you make me happy.
Me: Love you Lukas
Lukas: Love you too mummy
Me: I'm going to see Nana, do you want to come?
He jumped over the bed ran out the door shouting "yay I escaped"
Me: Lukas you are crazy
Lukas: Thats why you love me.
It's hard to remember that he's only 4 when I have conversations like this with him. He's a very wise little boy, and I don't think I give him enough credit for how much he understands.
The other day he saw an advert on the tv for something and it had an ultrasound in it, he turned around and said to me "Mummy you had a baby in your tummy like that". He asked me something else earlier, he wanted to know why I only made layouts about him not about Leo. All the layouts that are on the computer at the moment are from this year and he's right I haven't scrapped much about Leo, because I don't really know what else I can say, I don't have many memories about Leo. I have forgotten so much about him and because I don't have many pictures there's not much to spark the memories. Its also still very raw to me, I know it shouldn't be but I am very nostalgic at the moment, I often find myself crying at babies on tv and I am still avoiding the baby clothes sections in shops. The wedding photos bought it all crashing back to the front of my mind, because there's always the knowledge that we probably wouldn't have ever got around to a wedding if he was still here. I'm just feeling low today.
I have two layouts left to catch up on for the 40 days, you can see the latest one here. Hopefully I will get the last two done either tonight if I can't sleep or tomorrow. On a completely unrelated note, just because I am still thinking about it have you seen the new show Hereos? Wow if you haven't heard about it or didn't see it you can do both here. They also showed episode 2 tonight but no doubt that will be repeated at some point.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
40 Days day 19
Journalling reads:Scrapbooking means different things to different people. Many scrap to leave their legacy as tangible pieces of artwork. For others the making of the layouts is actually more important than the memory that it preserves. I am determined that I have forgotten enough things. From the multiple medical issues I have forgotten things that should have been burned on to my memory. I want to preserve the memories of Leo and ensure that he is never forgotten. I want Lukas to remember the fun things we did together and how much I loved him. I want that to overshadow all the times I let him down because I am too ill to play with him or take him to school. Scrapping is a great release for all my emotions and a source of enjoyment to me.I love to create layouts, especially when I can share them and bring joy to other people. I have learnt so much about myself from ym scrapping. I hope to continue to learn and grow as a woman, a scrapper and a mother. I want to leave a piece of my heart and soul in every page. I am a mother preservingthe memories of my family in scrapbook pages. I take the time to record our special times with heartfelt journalling and photographs. I am a shopperholic buying new products to help preserve my memories with my own unique style and flair. Always searching for the next must have digital scrapbooking item.I am the voice for my pages giving the pictures the clarity to be more than just photos to give them the chance to tell their stories. To infuse my pages with my heart and soul.I am a person on a journey looking for the legacy I am supposed to leave behind. Discovering things about my inner demons and how I have overcome them and become strong.
That leaves me with 2 to catch up on I think or maybe 3 not sure.
40 Days Catch ups
Journalling for day 11 reads:A smile or a hug from my favourite little man, the best things in life are free, simple treasures-simple pleasures.
Journalling for day 17 reads:February 17th 2006.This time 4 years ago it was cold,and there was snow falling down when we went for a routine midwife appointment, she couldn’t find a heartbeat and we were sent to the hospital for them to check. We thought they would tell us everything was fine instead the words they spoke made our world come crashing down.Even though that was bad, It sounded simple go back the next day, they would induce labour and leave me to it, a few hours in hospital and it would all be over, we neverexpected that things would get so complicated. That a few hours would drag out across six weeks, with the doctors trying various things, and failing, or putting us off. Wenever thought when they made the choice that surgery was the only option, I would feelthe whole thing, or that it wouldn’t work. Never in our wildest nightmares thought that a second lot of surgery would lead them to remove my right fallopian tube and a large part of my uterus. We also never thought it would make having a baby so difficult.We were told we would have more chance of winning the lottery than having another baby, and then we had Leo, and despite the way that turned out he gave us back some hope. Then came Ambrose, and when it ended in another loss wealmost gave up hope. But we’re still standing, asa couple we are stronger than ever. We will not be defeated, we will keep trying and weathering whatever dissapointments come along, then maybe one day we will get thatperfect little baby girl or boy we are so hopingfor. I’m greatful to Gaiebraille because thatloss taught me so much and makes me always remember this quote.
Journalling for day 20 reads:A House is somewhere you live, a building made from bricks and mortar. It needs a family to fill it full oflaughter and memories to make it a home This is ours
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Technically challenged and addicted to sales
First up Kimberly Geswein at My Digital Muse
Font packs: 10,11,12,13,14,15,4,5,6,7,8,9,
Funky Fonts Packs: 1 and 2
4x8 Photo Card Templates
Baby Mine Elements Pack
Blog Header Templates
Calendar Toppers
Card Sketch Templates
Photo Card Templates 5x7
Kimberly is retiring everything on 28th February!!
Next Miss Tiina at One Of A Kind Scrapz
Dirty Babe Boy
Dizzy Love Kit
Dizzy Love Tags
Floral Swirls Brushes
Fusian Floral Brushes
Fusian Frames Brushes
Miss Tiina Dreamie font
Miss Tiina Messy Font
Sparkle Styles
Then there was Traci Reed's Black Lace and Jill D-Zines Aubergine and Teal.
I just couldn't help myself the word SALE was just too tempting. I really hope Mark doesn't see exactly what I bought lol, he never reads my blog what's the betting today he decides to. It's fonts he will object to for the simple reasons he doesn't get why I need more than one lol. He only ever uses Times New Roman which I hate with a passion and would unistall it if I could.
I dont have much else to talk about, Mark is ill he's burning up bless him (also driving me crazy like a typical man he thinks he's dying when he is ill), I am ill as usual have gone back to sleepless nights and days of either being exhausted or sleeping nearly all day. I'm used to the daily pain it's not a huge deal to me anymore, but for a while I have had earache and its driving me crazy. It feels like my whole head is full of water. Lukas has finally gone back to school and I don't mean that in a half term's over I am happy way, I mean because he has been ill for so long, I hate him being at school it's boring and dull without him lol. Nan's not very well either so as you can gather the house is not really a happy place to be right now. Everyone is snappy because they are hurting and tired. Hopefully it will get better soon.
I did manage to get a layout done during my insomnia, it's day 16 for the 40 days, I still have 11,14,16,17,18 and 19 to catch up on. You can see the layout here, the journalling reads:Family is everything to me andnothing means more to me than this beautiful little man.He’s my hope for the futureI would do anything within mypower to ensure that he never has to feel any pain or sadness. I want nothing more than tomake him happy, he is my future, my legacy and the best thing I could ever imagine being ableto do is let him know that he is my whole world and I love him with all my heart and soul.Children are the world's most valuable resource and its best hope for the future. (John F. Kennedy)
That's about it for now, I might be back later with the other 40 days layouts, providing of course that I can stay awake long enough to scrap them lol
Saturday, February 17, 2007
No one else remembered
Friday, February 16, 2007
Wedding Brag Book Page
Thursday, February 15, 2007
40 Days day 15
40 Days Day 12 and Day 13
You can see Day 12 here and Day 13 here.
The journalling for day 12 reads:
You fill me with wonder how can one small little boy bring so much joy to ourlives just by being there You are amazing andeverytime I see you I am overwhelmed bythe amount of love I feel for you. Innocentand adorable,you are my world and I adoreyou Lukas.
The journalling for day 13 reads:
It’s often said that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone but often you don’t know how good something can be until you have it. I always used to say that Inever wanted to have children. Growing up in a house with so many brothers and sisters screaming babies seemed really unappealing and I really couldn’t see why anyone would want one. They used to drive me insane.When I found out I was pregnant with Lukas I spent a lot of time unsure of what I felt. I was filled with conflicting emotions. When he was born I honestly didn’t like him, his birth was a shocking experience and he was a boy, I had been told he was a girl. But after a sleep, I woke up and demanded to know where he was I was worried about him. That’s when I understood why people had kids, the bond you feel is truly the most awe inspiring thing. I spent the first few months of his life apologising to him for ever doubting that I wanted him. I could never be without him now, I feel lost when he isn’t here.
I'm going to try and get days 14 and 15 done while Lukas is in the bath (Marks bathing him for a change). It's amazing how much I can get done when those two aren't constantly pestering me. They both went to sleep this afternoon it was so peaceful, I forgot how easy it is to work when Lukas is at school and Mark is at work.Lukas is a bit better today, still coughing quite a bit though and has a constantly running nose.
If I get them finished I will bhe back with 14 and 15.
dedicated2digital.com New Release WOW!!
Want to take a look?
http://www.lukasdaddy.blogspot.com
I installed elements on his machine for him and showed him how to make a simple layout using templates. The next trick to teach him is recolouring and if he's really nice I might let him play on my CS2 lol.
Now I will talk about the point of the post :) dedicated2digital has released a new kit! It's a collection of 7x5 dDroppers (aka quickpages) There are a massive 21 pages all together some of them are finished pages complete with quotes. Others are .png files (transparent so you can slide your photos underneath). You will be able to create amazing gifts in a hurry. But the best part is they will look like you spent hours on them! You can see the two pages I made using it earlier here. They took a few minutes and I think they look fab lol.
Such a great way to tell someone you love them.
If you want them (and I know you will) you can grab them over at dedicated2digital
and as if that wasn't already amazing they are on special $2 off normal price!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Wedding Brag Book Page 17
So anyway here's the layout,
Credits: Whispered Promises QP Rina Kroes. I suppose I also should confess that I ended up buying the matching kit as well as two others lol. I am behind on my 40 days layouts again and trying to catch up. I also haven't got around to making Marks Valentine Gift yet eeek.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
40 days again
You can see the layout here
Journalling reads:To my darling husband, would you like to know why Ichose to spend the rest bof my life with you?Who else could I rely on to always bring a smileto my face even when I am in floods of tears.Who else knows exactly what to say and do to cheer me up. Who else would do silly thoughtful things like cycle to the local supermarket at 1am because I saidI fancied something, or cycle into the city centre to buy me a milkshake when I was poorly. Who would see me at my very worst and still love me just the same. With the exception of Nan and Lukas you are the only other person I still love unconditionally even when I am angry at you.I miss you when you aren’t here and I can’t sleep unless you are beside me. I love you so much you make me complete as a person.
I really should be doing more pages for the wedding album but I just feel horrible today, all stiff and sore all I really want to is go to sleep.
Day 9
Journalling reads: My desk is always covered with stuff that should have been put away, or part completed projects. as well as loads of other bits and pieces.On my desk right now is:A Champagne glass that I have been drinking my caffiene free coke from.Our alarm clock that we never remember to set. My Diary that I keep meaning to add all the birthdays and other important dates to.Some batteries that need to be put on charge.A camera that needs new batteries.A pair of earrings that should have gone back in the jewellery box.Wedding cards waiting to be scanned.2 cups of Lukas’s that should have been washed up but haven’t been.Marks game he hasn’t put away, and the photo albums waiting for the wedding brag book layouts that I have finished but not got around to printing yet.We are definately a very disorganised family, no matter how many times I tidymy desk things seem to end up coveringevery available space again. This is oneof the reasons I love being a digi scrapperso much, I can preserve my memories andthoughts without adding even more mess.I love that I can clean up with a few clicksand that the only things that need to beput away is a keyboard and a mouse.But most of all I love that I can get ridof mistakes with the undo button now ifI could get one of those for my house, my desk would never be messy again
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Day 8 is now finished
You can view the layout here and incase you are interested the journalling reads:The one place in the world I find happiness is in my bedroom. It’s the only place I can go to escape from things, I have my computer to communicate with both my friends and my inner artist, as well as fulfilling my desire to shop. I have my clothes that make me feel comfortable and often inspire me. I have my television to watch my favourite shows as a way to relax. I have my music to drown out the sound of anything I don’t want to hear. But most importantly of all I have my bed where I can have cuddles with my husband and my son.The place where I can feel safe,secure and most importantly loved, just for being who I am.
No doubt no-one is surprised i have used my 2 favourite Artistry Papers again that makes 6 layouts with them I think,a record for me lol.
40 Days catch up
If you want to look at Day 7 you can see it here, the journalling on it reads -You are so critical of yourself. I watch you when people pay you compliments you get so defensive almost angry. It’s because you don’t understand how anyone can love youwhen you don’t even love yourself.I really wish you wouldn’t think you are unlovable. You doubt your abilities as a mother, a wife and even asjust a person. It’s silly really because you havethe most amazing little boy, he is a real creditto you, and its so obvious you adore him. Youhave a husband and Nan that think you arespecial and talented. They think that becauseyou are it’s such a shame you dont believe inyourself as much as they believe in you. Takethe time to remember everything that hashappened in your life, you must be strong because your still standing be proud of yourself.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Wedding Brag Book Cover
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Gifts are not always a good thing
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Ella and Conor
40 Days Day 6 and sicky baby
The journalling reads:Everyday I get up and see you,I am inspired to be a bettermum you fuel my creativity andsurround me with ideas. You aremy muse and I adore you Lukas.
When I first read the challenge for today I knew exactly what my layout was going to be about because Lukas always has been my biggest source of inspiration and he probably always will be.
He's been poorly today, spent the whole of last night screaming. I couldn't find out what was wrong, I finally gathered that his ear was hurting him again and after much screaming on his part, shouting from frustration on mine we came to inevitable conclusion - He threw up all over me. he's a strange child refuses to take any medication so I can't do anything for him when he is in pain and it hurts me. He spent most of today sleeping on the sofa and looking miserable, he's been sick a few times and has a rash all over his bum. Gave him a bath and suddenly he became the energiser bunny lol. He's asleep now but very restless I have to keep checking on him, to satisfy my mummy paranoia and make sure he's not having another nosebleed. I really hate it when he is ill. I am off to bed now because I am really tired and I get the feeling he isn't going to be asleep long. Catch you tomorrow xx
Wedding Brag Book Page 16
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Tick Tock It's Lukas O'clock
Monday, February 05, 2007
Wedding Brag Book page 15
Wedding Brag Book page 14
Day 5
Life sucks!!
I bought something today that you will more than likely see scrapped tomorrow. I saw it in the corner shop and it just screamed "BUY ME FOR LUKAS" it's a little white cuddly dog, with a blue nose, huge great floppy blue ears and a blue patch on its back, has a ribbon around his neck and he is the sofest most adorable thing I have ever seen. Lukas adores it. Wouldn't even go to sleep without his "Gog" and before you ask yep he can say dog but Gog is much more him lol.
For some bizarre reason Lukas has just woken up and doesn't look like he will be going back to sleep anytime soon and he has to get up for school in about 4 hours 10 minutes lol. Mark is snoring his head off truly amazing how he can have everything so loud he wakes/keeps us awake and then just goes to sleep when we can't, he's a git lol. Haven't done any wedding album pages today, but will hopefully get some done tomorrow, or later since it technically is tomorrow.
40 Days day 4
Journalling reads:Pain comes in many forms, I happen to think that people are a lot more resiliant to physical pain then they are to pain that comes from bruised feelings. It’s often difficult to accept that it’s not you that has a problem and that some people just will not love you whatever you do.I have spent a lot of my life wondering why my mum doesn’t seem to like me, why my dad doesn’t seem to be bothered about me and it took until my wedding day for something inside me to click. My mum doesn’t care or she wouldn’t have tried to destroy my happiness by not being there. That’s her issue not mine and I can’t fix that. As for my dad I was wrong he does care he just doesn’t know how to show it but the tears he cried and the effort he made to be there spoke louder than any words ever could.
I made the the background papers you can get them here if you like them BUT they are 6x4 because thats what size I am making my 40 days album, you could always use them as mats though. Will definately be redoing Day 3 tomorrow as it still seems to bright and happy, it will be same layout just darker colours maybe a teal and deep purple.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Tagged!
1. What is your occupation? Well I think my job is being a mummy lol. But at the moment scrapping my wedding brag book seems like a job lol.
2. What color are your socks right now? I don't like socks, so I don't wear them very often but I did get a cute pair of slipper socks for christmas.
3. What are you listening to right now? The little mermaid what can I say I am a huge kid lol.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Chicken roll that lovely hubby just made me lol.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Nope I can't drive at all.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Probably one of those rainbow colour ones you can change the tip on, I am pretty unpredictable.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Some idiot trying to sell me a mobile phone, he put the phone down on me lol.
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Well I don't really know her but her digi designs totally rock!
9. How old are you today? 22
10. Favorite Drink? Caffeine free coca cola.
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? Speedway mmm be still my heart rofl.
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? A few times but my hair is so dark even the most vivid red I could find only gave it a nice shine lol.
13. Pets? Does Lukas count? LOL
14. Favorite Food? Pasta, Kinder or Galaxy chocolate, stopping now I am making myself hungry.
15. What was the last movie you watched? All the way through? Happy Feet last Saturday and even then I have to admit I went back to scrapping mid way through.
16. Favorite day of the year? I don't think I have one.
17. What do you do to vent anger? Write my blog lol.
18. What was your favorite toy as a child? Barbies, suppose this is the point where I confess to running them over with a tank lol. Also had a thing for baby dolls, used to dress them and cart them around like real kids, Im starnge lol.
19. What is your favorite, fall or spring? I like both its the colours that do it for me. Flowers, leaves its all good for me.
20. Hugs or kisses? Definately both
21. Cherries or blueberries? Neither but I like almost every other fruit.
22. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? I like blog hopping so if you want to answer these I would be more than willing to read it.
23. Who is most likely to respond? Probably no-one lol.
24. Who is least likely to respond? Mark since he doesn't even have a blog lol.
25. Living arrangements? Me, Mark, Lukas and Nan in a 3 bedroomed house.
26. When was the last time you cried? I have been doing that a lot lately just feel really weepy lately.
27. What is on the floor of your closet? It has a floor? LOL I can't even open it there is so much stuff in there eventually we will get around to sorting it but since the choice was a wardrobe we couldn't use or a bedroom we couldn't use the choice was a bit simple lol.
28. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? Don't think that one applies.
29. What did you do last night? I scrapped more pages for the wedding album, did my 40 days layout. Didn't do much else yesterday.
30. Favorite smell? Emporio Armani perfume (the gold bottle) is yummy, bubble bath and talcum powder are definately my favourtie things.
31. What inspires you? Lukas is a great source of inspiration, Magazines, ads, sketches, e-zines more stuff than I could ever begin to list.
32. What are you most afraid of? Losing another baby is probably my biggest fear.
33. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Oh bacon cheeseburgers are always a good way to my heart.
34. Favorite kind of dog? One that belongs to someone else! I have nothing against animals but the licking jumping all over me quota is already filled by Lukas roflmao.
35. Number of keys on your key ring? 2 I think I don't remember the last time I saw my keys.
36. How many years at your current job? well Lukas is 5 in August lol.
37. Favorite day of the week? Fridays because there is decent TV programmes and I get to lay in for two days lol.
38. How many states have you lived in? I'm in UK we don't really have states but I have lived in Oxford all my life.
39. Favorite Holidays? Christmas is nice but always seems to go wrong, same as every holiday.
40. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery? Nope can't even drive a bike, me and wheels just don't mix lol.
There you go, now if you made it all the way through that, well done you. But that now means you are tagged too lol. If you answer the tag just leave me a comment and I will go read it lol. Be back later
Day Three
If anyone was to ask me what it was that I really wanted they would probably be surprised at the answer.I want to get up for one morning in my life and not feel any pain. I hope one day to overcome whatver medical issues make my life a misery.I want to be able to take Lukas to school everyday and play with him like a normal mum. I often feel like I am letting him down because of my health issues. I don’t like letting him down.t would give me a great deal of joy if our lives were blessed with another child. I would love a baby girl but a baby boy would be great too.We all miss Leo so much. I hope that Lukas and Mark will always be happy and that we can conquer any problems as a family. I hope that Nan is with me for a long time to come,because I truly will be lost without her.My dreams always come back to my family because they are my whole world.
Wedding Brag Book Page 13
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Wedding Brag Book Page 12
Credits:Build a Brag Book Collection 3 template 6 by Heather Heinzer,Rain Sampler by Ginger T, Cool Blue Backpack by Krista Mettler (recoloured), Fresh Backpack by Krista Mettler, Wedded Bliss by Peggy Brutcher, Blue Heaven by Michelle Coleman, Ad challenge 4th June Kelly Mize and Aubergine Elegance brushes by Jill D.
All comments/criticism on this one much appreciated.
Wedding Brag Book Page 11
My wedding album has just been delivered
I also have the pictures that were taken of Lukas with Father Christmas on Boxing Day.
I don't really know what else to say so I will get back to scrapping the brag book.
Wedding Brag Book Page 10
Wedding Brag Book Page nine
Credits: From this moment by Rina Kroes, Eternity by Jen Reed and Krista Mettler, Wedding Bells are ringing contribution by Barbie Chewning and Smarties Brag Book template 8 by Teresa Ferguson
Friday, February 02, 2007
Day Two
It was a lot of fun to do but seemed to take ages to finish. I know I went and had a bath in the middle of making it but it still took nearly 3 hours to complete and it's only a 6x4!
I really love friday nights, I listened to Blind Justice while I scrapped and now I am sort of watching NCIS. I am now going to try and do a couple more wedding layouts but I am super tired so I might not manage it.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Intro update
I might have to make something in Excel to help me keep track.
40 Days of scrapping purpose
I have decided that I will be posting my pages for this on my scrapbooking blog.
The page for day one can be viewed with full credits here
I am going to try my hardest to keep up but I have the wedding brag book to finish and challenges at digiscrapdivas I want to take part in. This is going to be a very busy month scrapping wise for me. When I get a minute I will give my scrapbooking blog an overhaul. Its long overdue and I want to have the ability to label posts (like I do here) with the layout name.
Me and Lukas have just had a blast
Will share pictures of Lukas tomorrow, I am too tired to download them now.
Oh before I go I meant to mention the camera started working again when we got home how typical is that lol.
Wedding Brag Book page eight
Wedding Brag Book page seven
Also have something else to show you, my layout for the Sketch Challenge at Digiscrapdivas
Credits:Layered sketch, Comfy Jeans Element pack and Chocolate Sky by Traci Reed Fonts are:Pea XOXO and Augie
Will probably be in and out throughout the day adding more stuff.
Welcome to February
ADSR final challenge
Credits: Rock Star by Krista Mettler. Font is Dymo. I feel a bit sad that the race is over with. I had a blast especially since some of the challenges really pushed me out of my box. I wonder what Amy will chose to scraplift of mine?