Fun Fun Fun

Well we have had lots of fun here in the last few days. Last night Lukas threw up again but luckily it all went into the bowl so not much clean up required. Josh has been up to play again and was filthy as normal. Lukas is excited about the trip to the wildlife park on tuesday. Yesterday we went on a bit of a spending spree, Lukas has a camera of his own now, he has a sand/water table and a bed for his baby they are early birthday presents. My mum always used to promise me presents on xxx day because she never had money on my birthday I always swore with Lukas it would be the opposite he would have his presents on his birthday or before. Last night Mark actually wanted intimacy and guess what hows this for ironic I had a headache lol. I decided not to tell him and ignore it. I ended up having a massive one of my stupid fit things. Now we aren't back to square one we are in negative spaces he doesn't even want to cuddle me. I scared him because the last time I had one that violent was a long time ago. He says hes always scared that when I stop breathing he wont be able to make me start again. I hate being like this. I hate scaring Mark but until the doctors find a reason they cant do anything to help. Im so greatful Mark knows all the problems I have and still wants me. I would be truly lost without him. I love him with all my heart and soul