*Warning this entry could get a little crude (slight chance), if you are easily offended don't read it and if you do read it and it offends you - tough you were warned lol*
The computers are driving me insane. Right now nothing is working like it should be. I dont just mean the machines. Neither me nor Mark seems to have the inclination to whats the best way to put this, lets use the example on the trying to conceive thread - do the deed lol.
When we first got together we were putting it midly at it like rabbits, we did it anywhere and everywhere. Things have changed a lot since then, when we were working together there was the rape thing followed by the uncertainty of whether Lukas was Marks. Next came the miscarriage, losing Leo, the other miscarriage and all the other stuff that turned our lives upside down in between. We have been together just over 5 years seems such a long time. So lately I have been thinking a lot about how far we have come and maybe where we go from here.
Mark keeps bringing up marriage and honestly I am not thrilled about the idea. I love Mark and I want to spend my life with him but I dont see how marriage makes that happen. I think the only reason Mark wants to is because his brother did. Everything is a competition between them but Marks brother is the lowest grade of human he tried to sleep with me when I first got with Mark and you all know how he treats his son. I need to have a think. Maybe I will be back later to chat some more.
1 comment:
*hugs* i don't know the answer to this... if its a competition then hes being silly... if its for love, then you should do it. Perhaps you could find that out by suggesting a quiet wedding with just the two of you and a couple of witnesses to see if he disagrees...
xxx
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