Friday, April 10, 2009
What's so good about Good Friday?
Yesterday I felt much better than I have for a while, I was feeling a lot more happy and looking forward to getting some stuff done. Everything was fine when Mark first came in and then somehow an argument started. I got upset and stressed out and ended up feeling worse than I have done for a while. I was hoping that after some sleep I would feel better, but if anything I feel worse. I slept badly last night and had nightmares again, my eyes are swollen and red from crying and I just can't be bothered with anything today. I wasn't expecting today to be a great day anyway since it's Ambrose's anniversary and my brother Darren's birthday. I never quite realise how far New Zealand is until it comes to things like his birthday. I left him a message on Facebook wishing him a happy birthday but it's not really the same. I wish I was organized enough to remember to get a card and post it in time for him to get it, but I am just not. I'm sure he will have a great day with his fiancee and her family and more than likely friends he has made over there but that doesn't stop me missing him. I miss all my brothers and sisters I just never feel well enough to make the effort to be involved in their lives. I guess today is just going to be one of those down days. It's almost 3pm and neither me or Lukas have even managed to get dressed yet. Mark will be home from work in 4 hours time and no doubt another argument will start when he sees that neither of us are dressed and we have done nothing at all today. Nan's not in the best of moods either so me and Lukas are choosing to stay up in our room, watch disney movies and play on the computers. It does feel weird that we haven't bought any easter eggs this year. I haven't been anywhere to buy any for anyone and we usually don't get eggs for Lukas since he doesn't eat them. I usually get him some chocolate and sweets of his choice and something to play with. Nan gave him money so he can get something he wants. When we were kids we always got given our Easter Eggs on Good Friday but didn't really do anything else as far as Easter was concerned since we aren't really religious. I always wish that I was able to make a bigger deal out of Easter with Lukas but it always seems to work out that I am ill and we end up doing nothing at all. I am still hoping we might be able to have a small easter egg hunt with him on Sunday or Monday. Anyway I suppose I should go and see if I can get anything at all done today.