1st Hugs

1st Hugs, originally uploaded by Lukasmummy.

Credits: Layered template (Shabby Spring Templates, Template 2) and Shabby Spring both by Jen C Designs. Font is DJB Play Misty For Me by Darcy Baldwin.
Journalling reads: Holding Ernie for the first time was such a strange experience. I had been waiting so long to meet him for the first time, but between sickness, Christmas and other things he was nearly 3 months old before I finally got to give him cuddles. He was so sweet and gorgeous, and he seemed to be really content to be with me. I know it’s mean but I was thrilled that he cried when Mark held him but settled when I took him back. I even got a cute little smile from him. The boys fussed over him and I was really surprised that Logan was very sweet and gentle I thought that he would be very jealous and possesive like he is when Lukas or Mark tried to cuddle me. The strange part is that for years holding a baby has turned me to complete and utter mush. As we walked out of their Mark looked incredibly nervous. He was expecting the usual conversation that involved me gushing about the baby, and dropping in a few not so subtle hints about how nice it would be to have another baby. Only it didn’t come, I loved holding him but it was enough for me to cuddle him and then give him back to his mummy. I didn’t even want to take him home with me. It felt so wrong to me since I have spent almost my whole adult life with the longing for a baby. I guess that I may have just finally reached the point of being done with having kids. 23/01/2011