Confused and miserable

There are so many things going on in my head, I feel utterly miserable and like I am at war with myself, being pulled in so many directions that one day I will just be torn to shreds. I wish there was some way to just make peace with myself but I can't see one. When you throw in the directions that everyone else is pulling me in I wonder how I am still in one piece.Before anyone goes searching through my blog to see what I am talking about, don't bother up until now I have done all the fighting inside my head. I have argued with myself over all of it but now I have reached breaking point and I need an outlet. When I reached my breaking point of sadness when Leo died I turned to scrapbooking. I needed a release, I needed to preserve his memory, I needed to create something. Now what I need is a different release I need somewhere to offload some of the things onto to, I need to be able to make space in my head, I need to see the problems clearer so I can try and find a way to fix them without losing myself along the way, I need to find a way to recover all of myself that I have already lost but most of all I just need somewhere to vent and that's why I have a blog. It may not seem like much but this little old blog has helped me a great many times. It has saved my sanity, and been my reference point when I have felt lost. It's helped me remember things that would have otherwise been lost. Words are my saviour but today they seem to have deserted me. I can't find the words and without the words I can't find the inner peace I am so desperate to find.