30 Days - Day 1

I just read about this over at The Bottle Chronicles and since I really want to start blogging more it seems like a great place to start. I have missed writing on my blog and I suppose actual posts would make a nice change from just blogging my layouts directly from flickr.

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name

Day 03- A recent picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero/fictional character and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about WordPress and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?

Hmm now where to start, I can't do the photograph tonight because the card reader is upstairs and to be blunt I can't be bothered to walk upstairs and get it lol. Finding 15 things that are interesting about me is going to be very difficult, I suppose a good place to start would be with some things I would like my kids to know about me.

1. When I was at school I "won" the chance to go on a helicopter trip, at the time I didn't really consider it much of a prize because I really hate heights. It ended up being a terrifying but also amazing experience I am glad I got to have.

2. Religion is a concept that confuses me a lot but I wish it didn't. I do believe in god but I don't understand blind faith, I feel compelled to question everything about religion but sometimes I wish I could just find something to have a little faith in. I'm jealous of the comfort people can find in faith and the ability to believe in a higher power without question.

3. I am insecure, I think I am ugly and I really hate my body. When Mark tells me he thinks I am beautiful I tell him he's full of shit. It makes me uncomfortable when anyone pays me a compliment and I don't know how to change that.

4. I have a bit of a thing for looking at shoes in shops especially heels, but I despise wearing anything on my feet.

5. I have only ever had my hair cut 3 times in my life, the first was when my mum decided I should have a fringe (which I hated with a passion and spent a long time trying to get rid of), the second was when I went from below my bum to above my shoulders when I had a voucher to have it done for free. The last time was earlier this year because it was coming out in handfuls and I hoped by making it shorter it would look a lot thicker.

6. I don't really spend much time on my appearance because I just don't see the point. I have the opinion that if I wear make up everyday how would it be special to wear it on the rare occasion that we actually go somewhere.

7. I still listen to the same music now as I did when I was a teenager, I like familiar things and music I can sing along to. I will probably still be listening to my old Boyzone CD's in another 10 years time lol.

8. When I am nervous I fiddle with my jewellery, usually my allergy bracelet is my go to, but if I am going somewhere I know it going to stress me out I load almost my entire jewellery box onto my body so I have options to play with.

9. I don't eat any sauces on my food, with the exception of apple sauce and gravy. The sight and smell of ketchup, brown sauce, mustard, mayonnaise, brown sauce and lots of others makes me heave. The only other two foods capable of doing that to me are fish and mint. Just the thought of them makes me gag a little.

10. I don't enjoy being alone, especially in the house. It gives me too much time to think and dwell on things.

11. I can handle cleaning up poop without a problem but vomit is incredibly difficult for me. I have been known to telephone Mark at work and make him come home to clean up when the kids have thrown up. I have also been known to pull the door shut and leave the house to get away from it. I can't clean it up without adding to the mess.

12. I am severely allergic to latex and wasps and it scares me. I hate feeling vulnerable and having to check out everything to make sure it's safe. I have an intolerance to chilli (makes my lips swell up) and amoxycillian.

13. Painkillers don't work on me, neither do general or local anaesthetics. I have had 2 surgeries in my life and felt every single second of both of them, it was not a pleasant experience and I still have nightmares about it sometimes. It's part of the reason I hate hospitals with a passion, the other being the amount of latex in them lol.

14. I went to college to train as a chef, mostly because I wanted to learn to cook. The thought of touching raw meat or fish makes me shudder. I used to beg other students to trade with me so I wouldn't have to deal with it. I loved to peel veg and wash dishes and since most people wanted to avoid those jobs it worked out quite well. I left after a few weeks because I couldn't handle leaving Lukas in the nursery. I missed him too much. My favourite part of the experience was the days when I got to waitress in the college restaurant (part of the course).

15. I never used to want any kids at all. Now there are times when I would love another baby, but I don't think I could handle another pregnancy. To be honest the baby I really want is the one who lives in heaven, my Leo. I am so ill all of the time, sometimes I struggle to just get through the day. I often have thoughts that my kids and Mark would be better off without me but I could never bear to leave them. I believe that suicide is selfish so I could never do it. My boys make me want to put one foot in front of the other and take each day one at a time.