Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Perfectly Precious

Perfectly Precious, originally uploaded by Lukasmummy.

Credits: Layered template (Gimme Some Space, Template 2) by Aisyah Roslan (Sya's Blueprints), Whispered Love (recoloured) by Jewel Goodwin (Mad Genius Designs), In Stitches Basics and In Stitches Frames by Britt-ish Designs, Perfectly Precious Wordart by Jennifer Word Art World and 52 Inspirations 2009 Week 22 Perfection Wordart by Sue Cummings. Font is DJB Nee Nee by Darcy Baldwin.
Journalling reads: This photograph breaks my heart every single time I look at it. Lukas was holding Leo and gazing down at him like he was the most priceless thing in the whole world. His expression was so precious and sweet and then there’s Leo gazing right back at Lukas, like he was seeing something amazing, well I suppose he was, he was seeing a big brother who adored him. When I took this photo I was just radomly snapping photos of the two of them together. This moment could not have been more perfect, but after I had taken it a strange kind of craziness kicked in. When I had picked Leo’s clothes that day I picked the brightest, loudest babygro in the box because he suited colour. Lukas wasn’t wearing the red t-shirt when we got to the hospital, it was one of the spare ones I had packed. He had to change it after he spilt milk all over the other one. When I looked at this perfect moment I had photographed I was really mad that I had picked that babygro and that I had packed that top for Lukas. It seems to silly and trivial but it realy irritated me. After Leo died and I started scrapping I wanted to scrap this photograph. I couldn’t bring myself to scrap it in it’s original colours, I wanted Leo’s pages to be soft and delicate. I tried converting it to black and white, but it seemed to lose something when I did that. I even tried to recolour the clothes. Considering how little I knew my program I didn’t do a bad job, the recoloured version is in a frame in the living room. I am not even sure how many times I have tried to scrap this photo only to end up feeling like I didn’t do it justice, it was missing something. It was only when I scrapped it for a CT assignment that I got it. It needed the bright colours, because that was Leo. He bought so much love and light to our life. It was like everything he touched was better afterwards. Our time with him, brief as it was made life worth living. When we had him we were all happy. The hospital visits weren’t depressing, me and Lukas had fun holding him and sitting with him in special care. It was the leaving that was horrible. None of us wanted to be away from him. He coloured our world like a tiny little rainbow. I suppose in a way he was like a drug to us, we were addicted to the way he looked at us and made us feel and that’s why everything was so dark once he was gone. All of the colour had left our world with him. So now I am doing what I should have done from the start, I’m going to scrap him in the boldest most vivid colours I can find, so his pages are like our love for him, never fading.

1 comment:

Debs said...

My heart still aches for you. As a mother I cannot comprehend what you went through losing Leo like that. You are always amazing Crystal, you are a wonderful person :)
Debs xxx