Things I say on this blog

always come back and bite me. Remember this from the other day "I think the part that's really frustrating me about my scrapping is I have ideas, if my inspiration was on holiday I could deal with that. But it's feeling to ill to put those ideas into practice that makes me miserable." Well now I have no ideas either I sit down I spend the few hours of energy I can drag up, moving stuff around before closing the page in sheer frustration and I was wrong I can't deal with that, every day puts me further behind and there is no end in sight. I have uttered the phrase "there aren't enough hours in the day" many times yet for now I am changing it to "there are too many hours in the day" it's endless when you feel crappy. The hours drag on and on yet I get no further forward than I already was. I was going to go to bed with Mark because I am so wiped out but I thought I would just sit here and attempt to get something done, anything at all just so I had something to show for today. Want to know what I have managed to do? Drink a bottle of ribena and snack on half a bag of doritoes because my stomach reminded me I hadn't bothered to feed it today. Anyway while I am here I may as well tell you about what we did yesteday. Lukas had a hospital appointment, ENT referral from the doctor. No it wasn't for the endless ear infections or the massively swollen tonsils that have kept him home from school for lots and lots of days since he first started school. It was for the stupid infection he had already had antibiotics from the doctor um 3 weeks ago. It's been clear since he finished the antibiotics. Apparently he needs seperate referrals for each issue. We were sat in the waiting room for nearly 2 hours, before Mark finally lost his cool and went and asked reception when Lukas was going to be seen. She went off to check and came back with that face. You know the one that says those damn doctors have screwed up again and I have to tell these people how incompetant they are. Apparently the doctors had taken all the notes in with them and instead of seeing patients by arrival time (their system) or something sensible like by appointment time, they were doing it in a completely random fashion and were of the opinion that Lukas had already been seen so they had filed his notes. Eventually we went in to see the doctors yes you did read that right doctors plural as in 3 of them. Lukas sat in the chair, the male doctor turned on a light on his headpiece looked up Lukas's nose and said oh I can't see anything up there you can go. We were in there all of 30 seconds. I had already told the GP that no, Lukas doesn't put anything up his nose that's why he gave him antibiotics. The GP had requested an emergency ENT appointment because he was worried about what sort of infection it was. Lukas had a rash all over him because he was so run down and the GP was even afraid it was menegitis for a while, he went off and got a second GP to come and take a look. They decided it was an upper respitory infection that had probably started as yet another ear infection. So since we had wasted £7 on bus fare up to the hospital we decided that we needed to use it for more than just going to the hospital. So I took an unplanned day off and we went for a family day out. First we got the bus into the city centre and then caught another one to Kidlington. We went to Tesco and bought some food for the ducks, Lukas had a bit of an argument with us when they didn't have any white bread, he was adamant that "ducks don't like brown bread". We then caught another bus to Cutteslowe Park. We looked at the birds for a little while and had a little picnic. Then we went to feed the ducks, once Lukas saw that ducks eat brown bread and like it, he decided that he wanted to eat it instead of feeding them with it. So I got out some pitta breads for him to feed them with and he managed to hit one of them, with a whole one which he thought was hilarious. Even when we told him off he still kept giggling to himself about it. For the rest of the day I heard sniggers followed by the words, pitta bread and duck lol. Then Mark and Lukas had a game of mini golf and about halfway through that the camera batteries died. I wasn't amused that was the set I sent Mark to buy after the set he put into the camera died. Only he would take used batteries out of the video camera and put them in my camera, with no spares silly man! So I never got any photos from the end of their game when Lukas finally started to master holding the club and hitting the ball. But I was most sad that I didn't get any of Lukas playing in the park, eventually tiredness won out (I kind of hadn't been to bed again) so we went home and I went to bed. Lukas wasn't all that thrilled that he had to have a daddy made lunch for school today lol. I have been making him lunches lately, I like to make his food interesting. So he gets sandwiches cut with cutters (hearts are his favourite), cheese slices cut into shapes and anything else I can get creative with. Daddy only makes boring square sandwiches lol. We had a nice day it was a great way to take our minds off the fact that yesterday was Mark's Mum's birthday. It's the first one since she died. I promised Lukas that he could go into the garden, light and candle and sing happy birthday. But because I went straight to bed because I was feeling so ill, he never got to do that, so I promised that we will do that on Mark's next night off which I think may not be until Sunday. But we were thinking of her yesterday and wishing she was here. I almost missed having to nag Mark to write out a card for her and pick up the phone and ring her. Anyway I better go, my ribena bottle needs to be refilled and I really should think about getting some sleep even if I can sleep later.