In the words of kermit - It's not easy being green

with envy that is. Christopher and Amy bought Ruby over today, she's a month old now and that was the 1st time we had seen her. She's utterly adorable and wouldn't you know it my camera batteries were flat! I didn't want to give her back and neither did Lukas. I got the sweetest smile from her, she's got tonnes of hair just like Leo used to have it's the same sort of colour as well, it was so strange except for the pink babygro I could have sworn for a second it was the same baby. She holds herself up so alert and knowing just like he used to, eyes wide open scared to close them for a second incase she misses something. The bit that almost made me cry though was as I put her to my shoulder she reached out her hand and touched my face. When she did it I kind of felt like I had just had a really huge electric shock Leo always did that and as she put her hand down I felt at peace with the world, it's the first time since Leo died that I have ever felt like that even if it was just for a short while. I think it was the realisation that life goes on. Amy and Christopher lost a baby just before Ruby they called her Evie I wonder if Ruby is ever going to know that they hold her so much closer because there will always be the ever present fear that they will lose her. She is loved more than she will ever be able to imagine.