Having a rubbish day today, cant seem to get anything to come out sounding like I intended.
We are having problems between me and Mark lately we seem to be back in the bad place we were in before when we split up. The saving point for us last time was losing Leo. We turned to each other for comfort. To be honest its getting depressing that we never seem to do anything or go anywhere. He comes in from work and moans hes tired and does nothing. I dont say anything because he has worked a 12 hour shift but then on his days off he does nothing either. We never go anywhere. Now for example hes sat playing his playstation 2 the stupid game music is blasting out and driving me mad. It means I cant even listen to some music to help me relax. Him and Lukas argue constantly mindless bickering. I want to bang there heads together!
So back to things coming out wrong I have manged to offend a friend today without even meaning to i'm so miserable lately I cant seem to see the good side of things. A friend of ours had a baby girl yesterday and I am jealous as hell. Its getting to me now that I should be going to hopsital visits and stuff for our baby and im not because we dont have one. The part that gets to me most is she didn't even want the baby the only reason she had it is because they refused her another abortion (shes had loads already).
Apparently this crappy existance is called life. Perosnally I think it sucks and there has to be something better than this because right now I dont want to get up each day and be fighting with Mark or have the silence between us. I dont want to be insanely jealous when other people have babies. But most of all I dont want to be feeling so sad and low all the time.
Need a solution answers on a postcard please LOL
1 comment:
Please, please get help...see if there is a counselling group that you can get in touch with about tramatic loses. I don't know you but I am worried...life really is good and it will get better but you are suffering from depression. There are medicines that maybe can also help you regain a balance.
I am a minister's wife who helps counsel others and I see alot of people go through what you are going though.
Corri/mlmmom
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