Credits: Layered template (Journal Lovers, Template 1) by Amy Lanham (3 Lil' Monsters Designs) and Change by Jen C Designs. Font is DJB C Lyle Run by Darcy Baldwin.
Journalling reads: When I found out that I was pregnant with you, I was more than a little overwhelmed by the emotions that I felt. It was all just so complicated, I wasn’t prepared for even the possibility of having another baby. It’s not so much that you weren’t wanted it’s just that you definitely weren’t in any of my plans. I was already finding it so hard to cope with Lukas and Logan while feeling so ill all the time. I don’t believe in lying to any of you, so I will tell you the whole truth and just hope you don’t hate me for it. For the briefest moment I admit it, I considered asking the doctor about arranging an abortion, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. You need to know how much I hate even the idea of abortions, I can’t help myself from feeling like it’s a form of murder. But I am pro-choice, I feel like it’s a personal decision but just not one I could ever make myself. I guess you are wondering why it matters. Wondering why I am even bothering to tell you any of this, it’s not like it was ever a real consideration. But it matters because you need to know the whole story, including all the bits it pains me to share with you. Right from the start I have been a mess. I just can’t seem to form any sort of bond with you and it is tearing me up inside. Part of the reason is dealing with all of the depression and health problems. The headaches and vision problems started right at the beginning of the pregnancy this time. Walking around is difficult because of the issue with my hips and I am just so very tired I just can’t seem to focus properly on anything. My moods have been really scary and unpredictable perfectly fine one minute, flying off the handle the next. Everything seems so much more intense this time. But mostly I am just so terrified, you are everything I have always thought that I wanted. But now that I have you, I am more scared than I can find words to describe. At first it was panic about how I would cope with three kids instead of two when things are so hard. I feel so poorly all the time, and I feel so guilty about how many things I can’t manage to do as a mother. But mostly the problem has to do with the simple fact that I feel like you might just be too good to be true. The last time I got something I really wanted was with Leo. I loved Leo so much it hurt, my pregnancy was so hard and then came special care. When he came home from the hospital I thought it was finally over. But it was only just getting started, he broke my heart into a million pieces when he died. I couldn’t cope with the intensity of all the emotions that I felt. I tried to push everyone away, because I just couldn’t cope with the idea of anyone ever hurting me that much again. I just can’t seem to allow myself to pull down the walls I have built and allow myself to love properly again. I’m so sorry baby you deserve so much more than me feeling sad.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
I'm Sorry
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Pumpkin Sippy Cups
Credits: Layered template (Adventure 365, Template 19), Urban Irish Cardstocks (slightly recoloured), Adventure 365 Occasion Flairs, P365 Basics Little Date Tags Extended and Edge Genius Volume 3 all by Jewel Goodwin (Mad Genius Designs). Fonts are Old Newspaper Types and Pea Squeaker by Amanda Bottoms (Fonts For Peas).
Journalling reads: One of your favourite things we bought for Halloween, was these orange plastic pumpkin sippy cups.They were 3 for £1 so we bought one each for you, Lukas and Josh. You had a great time climbing onto the chair and trying to drink out of the straw like a big boy!
Halloween Decorations
Credits: Layered template (Adventure 365, Template 8), Trick Or Treat, Trick Or Treat Cardstocks and Trick Or Treat Glitters all by Jewel Goodwin (Mad Genius Designs). Font is DJB Writes A Lot by Darcy Baldwin.
Journalling reads: Since it was our first Halloween, we went a little bit overboard when it came to buying decorations for our little Halloween party. Plastic banners, paper chains and inflatable items for the walls. Tinsel to wrap around the light stand and cardboard chandeliers and paper lanterns for the doorway. We decorated the tv unit with flashing lights and Logan drove us nuts by constantly swiping them to play with. We bought a plastic tablecloth and paper napkins for the table as well as a tinsel fountain centre piece. We even went as far as buying lots of Halloween themed plastic plates and bowls. It took us nearly the whole afternoon to decorate the living room and when we were finished it looked more than a little tacky, but it was so worth the expense and the effort to see how thrilled and excited both of the boys were about the party when it was finally all finished.
Pumpkin Carving 3
Credits: Layered template (Adventure 365, Template 7), Trick Or Treat and Trick Or Treat Cardstocks all by Jewel Goodwin (Mad Genius Designs) and More Than Words Celebrations Wordart by Darcy Baldwin and Jenny Hutson. Font is DJB Rita Script by Darcy Baldwin.
Journalling reads: When the pumpkins were finally empty it was time to start on the fun part of carving the design onto the front. We placed the pumpkin into a large plastic bowl to keep it steady. Then we printed out a pile of carving templates I had found online. After a quick search we were able to find the masking tape to attach the stencils. The next part was quite time consuming, we had to pierce holes through the pumpkin skin around the outline of the stencil. We were surprised at how tough the skin was to get through. Both of the boys were fascinated by the process. Once all of the holes were punched we removed the paper and got Mark to finish it off. He used the knives provided in the kit to cut between the holes and remove the pieces of the design one at a time. By the time he was finished it looked nothing like the original stencil, because the boys had begged him to cut, “One more hole”. Conor decided not to use a stencil on his and carved his design freehand. I think for our first attempt at pumpkin carving they turned out great. We wanted to leave them to dry out for a while before putting the candles inside, but Conor insisted on taking his home still wet. It’s just a shame we forgot to take any photographs of it when we lit it!
Pumpkin Carving 2
Credits: Layered template (Adventure 365, Template 6, slightly altered), Trick Or Treat, Trick Or Treat Glitters, P365 Basics Date Strips White and Edge Genius Volume 1 all by Jewel Goodwin (Mad Genius Designs) and Worth Repeating Brushes and Stamps Fall by Katie Pertiet. Fonts are Kiddy Halloween by House Of Lime and DJB Rita Script by Darcy Baldwin.
Journalling reads: Conor has never had the same concerns as our boys when it comes to getting messy. He couldn’t wait to stick his hands into the gooey, slimy, gross contents of the pumpkins. Mark and Conor sat themselves on the kitchen floor and started by cutting a circle in the top of the pumpkins. Then using the scoops provided in the kits, they scooped out all of the seeds and pumpkin flesh into the little plastic bin we have for vegetable peelings for recycling.
Pumpkin Carving 1
Credits: Layered template (Adventure 365, Template 5), Trick Or Treat, Trick Or Treat Glitters and Edge Genius Volume 1 all by Jewel Goodwin (Mad Genius Designs) and Worth Repeating Brushes and Stamps Fall by Katie Pertiet. Fonts are Kiddy Halloween by House Of Lime and DJB Rita Script by Darcy Baldwin.
Journalling reads: I am always slightly jealous when I see other people’s Halloween photos. While we were living with Nan there were lots of things that it just wasn’t possible to do with the kids. So for our first Halloween in our own house we decided to indulge in trying some of them. We bought two pumpkins and a couple of sets of tools, then we invited Conor around to carve them. The boys had no interest at all in any part that involved touching the “pumpkin guts”.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Just You
Credits: Layered template (Adventure 365, Template 15) and Monkey-ing Around both by Jewel Goodwin (Mad Genius Designs). Font is Pea Angedawn by Amanda Bottoms (Fonts For Peas).
Journalling reads: I am not sure why it is, but I seem to get the cutest and most natural photos of you when I just stand and play with the various settings on the camera and take photos without you knowing. For as long as I can remember you have driven me insane by chewing everything, it almost seems like you don't even realise you are doing it. I have told you off so many times for doing it yet you still keep doing it. You were sitting watching television and chewing on one of your action figures. You had your feet on the sofa and your sweatshirt had ridden up to show part of your belly. I stood and just watched as you were completely engrossed in what you were watching, until you just couldn't sit still anymore so you slid down on the floor and started playing, it made me smile.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Fire And Stone
Credits: Layered template (Adventure 365, Template 14), Adventure 365 February, Adventure 365 February Glitters and P365 Basics Little Date Tags Extended all by Jewel Goodwin (Mad Genius Designs). Logo found on Google. Font is Pea Alisha by Amanda Bottoms (Fonts For Peas).
Journalling reads: When we go shopping in the city centre, we usually end up grabbing takeaway for dinner. Quite often we opt for Mcdonalds just because it’s cheap and quick. On this trip we were intending on going to Pizza Hut, to take advantage of a special offer but since the closer one was busy we decided to give somewhere different a try. Fire and Stone hasn’t been open long and it looked really interesting. We were met at the door by super friendly staff, even though they were busy they pushed two small tables together for us so we had room to park the pushchair. They were running a special promotion where all pizzas were £4. Lukas was going to order from the kids menu but we were advised to order him an adult one as it would be cheaper. So he got one from the menu called the American Hot, (Fire & Stone’s tomato sauce, sliced Italian pepperoni, green chillies and grated mozzarella), and they took off the Chilli for him. I went with the Sydney (Crisp oven-roasted smoked bacon, free range egg, shaved smoked ham, mozzarella, Fire & Stone’s tomato sauce, basil & chives) and Mark went for the Maui (Double smoked shaved ham, Fire & Stone’s tomato sauce, diced sweet pineapple, mozzarella, basil, red onion & tomato salsa). The boys got cokes to drink and I went for Pineapple Juice. The pizzas were all gorgeous and yummy I was so mad I forgot to take a photo of the pizzas because we were too busy devouring them. Hopefully we can go back again soon, it was a lot of fun to try somewhere new to eat!
Quad Bike
Credits: Layered template (Adventure 365, Template 16), Boyish Mini, P365 Basics Beaten Up Alpha and P365 Basics Little Date Tags Extended all by Jewel Goodwin (Mad Genius Designs).
Friday, September 16, 2011
Angelina Ballerina
Credits: Layered template (Adventure 365, Template 13), Festival Of Colour Papers, Festival Of Colours Glitters, Adventure 365 Occasion Flair, Star Genius Volume 1, Brush Genius Volume Two and P365 Basics Date Strip White all by Jewel Goodwin (Mad Genius Designs). Font is Trajan Pro.
Journalling reads: The school organised a trip to see angelina ballerina performed by the royal ballet at the theatre, you were so disappointed when you didn’t get a spot on the trip, so I decided to buy tickets for me and you to go and buy 2 tickets for us both to watch it. We had a great time and you got some flashing mouse ears and the dvd from the souvenir stand.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Eating At The First Floor
Credits: Layered template (Summer 11 Templates, Template 2) and All About Me Volume 2 both by Laura White (C.W Picket & Company). Fonts are sf Fill Me In and sf Haven both by Sugar Frog Fonts.
Journalling reads: When we were trying to think of how to celebrate your birthdays, we thought that going out for a meal would be a nice thing to do. Since Nana was in hospital we ended up changing our plans, for Lukas’s birthday dinner was a sort of picnic of chips and egg fried rice at the park. For Logan’s I ended up going to a hospital appointment with Nan, we just ended up going swimming and then getting Mcdonalds since that is what Logan wanted. It was a shame really since I had picked out a new to us restaurant on the cowley road, called The First Floor. It’s an eat as much as you like buffet that serves a micture of chinese, thai, indian and continental food. We decided that it would be really nice to go there for Daddy’s birthday instead. We got all dressed up and caught the bus to the restaurant. They seated us in the window which you two thought was super cool, you had a great time watching all of the buses and people on the road below. We were really lucky since there was no charge for Logan since he was under 3 and they were running an offer where kids under 10 eat for just £1. The waiters came over and asked what you would like to drink, we ordered a diet coke for Lukas, a pineapple juice for Mummy and a pint of beer for Daddy. We didn’t think Logan could be trusted with a glass so we gave him his bottle instead.. Lukas was feeling really hungry and he was really excited to start eating. Lukas decided to try the fish goujons, and ended up liking them so much he had 3 massive plates full, along with some chips and a few other bits and pieces, Mummy selected some bits for Logan including noodles, chips and 1 piece of fish. Mummy and Daddy enjoyed trying a bit of everything. Me and Lukas tried the freshly made buttered Naan breads and enjoyed them so much we ended up sharing 2 plates full. We were just a little bit disappointed that there only seemed to be a very small selection of food available and they didn’t seem to be offering any kind of continental food, even though the website said they did pizza made to order. Then we moved onto the desert, Lukas had some ice cream and chocolate mousse while Mummy chose fruit salad and banana mousse. Logan and Daddy didn’t want any. It was so nice for us to be able to enjoy a meal out together as a family, that was not a Mcdonalds and we were so very proud of how you both behaved even if Logan did make a mess!
Ride The Slide
Credits: Layered template (Summer 11 Templates, Template 1), All About Me Volume 1 and All About Me Tab Alpha all by Laura White (C.W Picket & Company).
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Birthday Card
Credits: Layered template (Made In The Shade, September 2011) and Head {Cl}over Heels (slightly recoloured) both by Jen C Designs and Birthday Sweets Vectors by Miss Tiina. Font is Janda Curlygirl Serif by Kimberly Geswein.
Friday, September 02, 2011
Bury Knowle Park 1
Credits: Layered template (Cluster Funk Volume 4, Template 4) and In The Woods (slightly recoloured) both by Jen C Designs. Font is Pea Karynsig by Amanda Bottoms (Fonts For Peas)
Journalling reads: After visiting Nan at the hospital and having your party, we decided to go and take a look at the recently renovated Bury Knowle Park. It looks amazing, all of the equipment is brand new and there is a great mixture of stuff for both little and big kids. Since I wasn’t feeling very well I sat down and let you both explore and play. Unfortunately this meant that I didn’t manage to get many photographs. I love these ones of Logan playing on one of the pieces of equipment meant for older kids, it’s a really steep ramp covered with turf, the red ropes act like handrails to help you walk up and down. Although he used it more like a grass slide and slid down on his bum. It made me giggle how he squeezed himself through the gap between the wooden posts securing the handrail ropes.