It's been quite a week

After the bombshell about Mark's mum cancer spreading again, we got some more bad news my great grandad (Nan's ex husband) has cancer of the throat. He came to my wedding in January and that was the first time I had seen him since my mum's wedding (4 years ago on the 9th) and I was shocked at how ill he looked then. I used to be really close to him, he used to come and visit at least once a week. But when my mum had a row with him the visits stopped. She invited him to her wedding, but didn't really expect him to come. Nan speaks to him all the time, it's sad really because he has wasted his whole life, he threw away his wife, his family for booze. He has always been an alcoholic, the treatments they want to give him are going to be painful and hard to endure. I much as I hate to say this, I wonder why they are bothering. He has no life, he gets up, he goes to the pub, drinks all day, comes home makes himself something to eat of he remembers goes to bed by 6/7pm every night and then repeats over and over again. But whatever I may think about him it still makes me sad. I don't want him or anyone else including my mother to suffer, it just goes against my nature. This week has also been Karl's birthday if you don't read this very often he's my stepdad, I used to be proud to call him dad but obviously all that ended with the fight before the wedding. It's also Aidan's birthday and My mum's wedding anniversary. I missed seeing my little brother turn 6 all because of a stupid fight my mum caused over nothing, would it really have been that hard to be civil for one day or just ignore my dad. Honestly the way my mum carries on you would think my dad used to batter her. I know exactly what they used to be like because they lived with Nan. She likes my dad and is the first one to admit they were as bad as each other.Any violence that occured was usually started by my mum. I miss my brothers and sisters, nearly all of them have birthdays in August, the only ones who don't are Gavin and Darren (April), Keisha (March) and Daniel (October). I am sad that there will be another one soon that I will probably never see. I'm definately a family orientated kind of person, i'm lonely without them.The computer's playing up again. I need a new keyboard and mouse. I bought a new keyboard today but it's more crappy than this one so back it goes, I also bought a graphics tablet, but I can't hold the pen because of my hands it hurt worse than the mouse so that's got to be returned as well. It just seems never ending I am really fed up and miserable with life at the moment. I'm not even inspired to scrap layouts, I start I get frustrated and then I either save as a work in progress or just chuck it. I have an ADSR layout to do, CT assignments, and so much other stuff but I don't have the inspiration or motivation.