I'll take one large helping of guilt, with a side order of confusion please

We got a call earlier today, Mark's mum is in hospital again. I felt nothing except anger because Mark's dad said it was for headaches. She's been admitted before because of headaches caused by dehydration the doctors told her to make sure she drinks lots with her cancer medications. Anyway fast forward a little to the huge fight I had with Mark, including the words - it's her own fault she should do as the doctor tells her. When Mark called to check they hadn't moved her to another ward or anything before he went all the way to the hospital we were given an update, her cancer's spread. She has it in her brain now as well as her bones, her liver, her kidneys and her breasts. I'm lost for words part of me wants to shout and be angry, but i'm not sure who I am angry at, her for not going back to the doctors when she felt the new lump, and many other things or the world in general for giving her cancer. There was a time when I would have cried my eyes out about this, but apart from anger and resentment I feel nothing. The only feeling I have is like someone has sucked out every emotion except fury. I'm confusing myself with this post, life may be able to throw what it likes at me and not break me but it can sure as heck baffle me. I miss the emotions I used to have, I want to feel sad, I want to feel something. I need to find a way to get rid of the resentment I have but I don't know how. I might be back later.