*sigh* I am such a bad mummy

Mark's working until 7:30pm today, i'm sure that he will be thrilled when he gets home and sees what we have spent the day doing lol. Let's see at the moment it nearly 3:20 and Lukas isn't dressed, I can't really drag up the energy to argue with the words "I'm not getting dressed today, and you can't make me". To be fair I only bothered getting dressed because Nan wanted more white washing and that's what colour my nightdress was lol. We had pizza from last night microwaved for Lunch and then followed that up with a snack of crisps and double chocolate muffins. Lukas has also had milk and ham wraps that Mark made before he went to work. He's spent all his time sitting on my bed playing on various online sites on the laptop and I am listening to my audiobook, converting files in photoshop and doing a few other bits and pieces on the computer. I do have stuff I am supposed to be doing some of it is on the computer (like CT work) and some of it is a lot more practical like tidying up and putting clothes away, but I just can't be bothered to do anything today. It's quite strange really that even though we can get away with doing nothing or practically nothing when Mark is at work, me and Lukas are always quite depressed when he isn't here. We never used to feel sad when it was time for him to leave for work or spend our time watching the clock and waiting for him to come home. I can blame the baby and the pregnancy hormones but Lukas doesn't have an excuse and it's kind of unusual for him to act like this. The other day he cried the whole way home from school because Mark got called into work and I had to pick him up on my own. I really should get up and go and do something productive shouldn't I or maybe some scrapping. *sigh* I wish it was 7:30 already.

What's that sound?

oh that's right it's called silence lol. Lukas has gone out for a Happy Meal with Ella and Mark is at work so I am taking advantage of the quiet to listen to an audiobook on my mobile phone and trying to think of things to write on here lol. The audiobook of choice today is one I have listened to before (Confessions Of A Shopperholic) but I fancied listening to it again. I have lots of audiobooks but to be completely honest I am not entirely sure where I have put them all I know they are on my computer somewhere but I am not exactly sure where lol. The major advantage of listening to audiobooks on my phone or my ipod is that I can use the computer with no loss of speed. I prefer the clunky old desktop over the laptop when no-one else is here it's just more comfortable to sit at my nice big desk with a proper keyboard and mouse lol. ACDSee is adding some more stuff to the catalog, and there are loads of things I am supposed to be doing before Mark comes home but I just don't feel like doing anything. Lisa just phoned and said that Lukas and Ella wanted to go and play at her house for a couple of hours so seems like I will have the peace and quiet for a little bit longer. I suppose while I am here I could show you the layouts I have done since I last blogged. I think there are 5 of them.
The 1st one is for a template challenge at Elemental Scraps (the current one challenge #17)

Credits: Layered template (Template Challenge 17) by Chrissy W and Slippery Slope by Chrissy W and Angie Kovacs, All Worn Out Overlays 2 by Penny Springmann and I'm Felting 01 Styles by Royanna Lea Fritschmann. Font is FO Howie's Stamps Abundant by Fontologie.

The 2nd one is for a scraplift challenge at Elemental Scraps which ironically is also a previous template challenge over there (Template Challenge 16, Scraplift 2)
Credits: Layered template (Template Challenge 16) by Chrissy W, Egocentric (November 08, Team 2 Mega Kit) contributions by Stephanie Ogren, Nikki Scott, Chris Wasielewski and Chrissy W, I'm Talking 'bout - Remembering You Wordart by Jodie McNally and Showpieces Volume 1 by Janelle Gustafson (Cafe J Designs). Font is DJB Miss Liz by Darcy Baldwin.

Journalling reads: It’s the little moments like this, that make me realise just how fast you are growing up. I don’t need to follow you around when we go out to places anymore. I get to sit back and watch as you have a blast playing. There’s nothing that makes me more proud, than watching you trying things you would have once been scared of. I trust that you know exactly where I am if you want me for anything and then just leave you to do whatever you want.

The 3rd one was created using Chrissy and Angie's new collab template set East Meets West, it's also for a font challenge at Elemental Scraps (Font Challenge 2).

Credits: Layered template (East Meets West, Template 2) by Angie Kovacs, Boy Trouble (January 09 Mega Kit) contributions by Chrissy W, Theresa Hernandez, Pam Odd (Pamela Donnis Designs), Jill van Dijk (Juno Designs), Sherri Tierney, Megan Turnidge, Nikki Scott, Leah Riordan and Sharia Braxton and All Worn Out Overlays 2 by Penny Springmann. Fonts are Orator Std and Mia's Scribblings.

Journalling reads: I took these photos while you were waiting to be picked up for Morgan’s Birthday Party. You were so excited especially since it was the first party you had ever been to all by yourself.

The 4th one was also created using Chrissy and Angie's new collab template set East Meets West, it's for another font challenge at Elemental Scraps (Font Challenge 3).

Credits: Layered template (East Meets West, Template 2), My Favourite Place and 4x12 Paper Cutters by Chrissy W, Monster Madness by Nikki Scott and For Melissa Glitters by Megan Farrow (Flergs). Fonts are Complete In him and FO Howie's Stamps Lowfat by Fontologie.

Journalling reads: I don’t have very many photos of you from when you were little, but this is one of my favourites. You were sat in your push along car, in your highchair insert (because you were so small) and it was obviously very comfortable because you fell fast asleep.

The 5th one was with Chrissy and Angie's new collab template set East Meets West as well, it's for yet another font challenge at Elemental Scraps (Font Challenge 4).

Credits: Layered template (East Meets West, Template 1) by Chrissy W, Springtime Dreams (March 09 Mega Kit) contributions by Nikki Scott, Becki Kress, Lucky Smith, Bella Gypsy, Leslie Bodoh, Anja Jahn, Sharia Braxton, Scraps by Shilo and Juno Designs. Font is Pea Summer Sweetness.

Journalling reads: Our 2nd Ultrasound 12 Weeks.

Blissed Out

I apologise in advance for the post you are about to read. It's definately going to be one of those that either makes you go awww how sweet or gag on it's sicklyness lol. I don't know if you could put it down to the pregnancy hormones but lately we have been kind of loved up around here. Everytime Mark has to go anywhere even just to the shops he is met with a deathgrip hugs and begging not to be long from both me and Lukas. When he is here we spend lmost all of our time cuddled up together. Usually either I am in the middle with Mark and Lukas fighting over who gets to stroke my belly or Lukas squeezes into the middle and me and Mark bicker over who can cuddle him the hardest. It's not like life has suddenly got perfect around here far from it. If anything life is slightly more unbearable around here than usual thanks to Nan being ill and all of the issues that come from being pregnant. But for some reason all the headaches, the pain, the insomnia and the emotional rollercoaster seem to take a back seat whenever I get to cuddle up with my family. I suppose we consider ourselves lucky that this pregnancy has been so much better than the others. Takara Bean doesn't come without complications and no-one could describe this pregnancy as easy but to us all of this is old news. We expect pregnancy to be difficult and while it still is there's a lot less stress because it's not quite as bad (yet) as we were expecting it to be. I suppose that it's just nice not to feel so depressed and helpless all the time. I like this new side to our relationship, I like how we talk and want to be around each other. It's something that has been missing for a long time. It's quite funny that we are all watching the clock everyday Lukas gets excited that Daddy will be home soon, I count down how long until he is going to be back and Mark always looks so thrilled when he walks in and me and Lukas jump all over him because we missed him lol. We are going away for the night next Sunday, it's annual pass holders day at Chessington World Of Adventures so we have booked the hotel for the night and are so excited about getting away from here for the night. Then we have another trip planned for the beginning of next month and that will probably be it until after the baby is born. We are all getting so excited now the time seems to be flying by. I have already bought a few bits and pieces but there's still lots to do and sort out and thanks to our babies always being unpredictable we aren't really sure how long we have to get it done lol. Yesterday I spent the day doing some computer stuff while Mark enjoyed a day of sport and a vague attempt at tidying up. I managed to get 2 layouts made and crossed a few other things off my to-do list. Mark goes back to full shifts tonight. It's a big change fto go back from 4-12 when he has only been gone from 4-8. That means dinner, bathtime and bedtime are all going to be on me again. It's been really nice to know that if I didn't feel like doing bathtime Mark could do it when he came home. We knew it was going to happen but it's still going to be a bit of an adjustment for all of us. Tonight will definately be the hardest because Lukas probably won't get to see Mark until he gets him up for school in the morning, he is going to miss the time they have been spending together playing the computer or the playstation or just chatting. I have a lot to work on today but I am not feeling too great so I am not sure how much of it will actually get done. I have some phone calls to make and some more layouts to do if I feel up to sitting here and doing them. I am going to leave you with the two layouts I did yesterday and go and make those phone calls before I forget lol. They were both made with Chrissy's newest template set (released today) called Clustered there's a rectangle version as well as the square but I haven't gotten around to using those yet lol. The first one was made using an older kit by Chrissy called My Favourite Place and the second using a brand new collaboration between Chrissy, Angie Kovacs and Maria Ferguson (Duchess Designs) they were a lot of fun to do. I think I had forgotten how much I like to scrap!


Credits: Layered template (Clustered, Template 4) and My Favourite Place by Chrissy W and Tiny Truckers Medal was scanned in by me. Font is Downcome.

Enabling: Clustered Templates and My Favourite Place by Chrissy W available here and here and Downcome Font available here.


Credits: Layered template (Clustered, Template 3) and Wordle Paper Cutters by Chrissy W, Spring Forward by Chrissy W, Angie Kovacs and Maria Ferguson (Duchess Designs), Tweet Baby Alpha by Royanna Lea Fritschmann and Buttoned Down Dates by Bella Gypsy.

Enabling: Clustered templates and Wordle Papers Cutters by Chrissy W available here and here, Spring Forward by Chrissy W, Angie Kovacs and Maria Ferguson (Duchess Designs) available here and Buttoned Down Dates by Bella Gypsy available here. Tweet Baby by Royanna Lea Fritschmann is now retired.

Those layouts I was talking about

There are a total of 4 that I have to share with you. 1 of them was for a template challenge at Elemental Scraps, 2 of them were about Leo using Chrissy's new Lots To Say 2 Templates and 1 of them is a card using Chrissy's newest templates Speedy Greetings 3. The first one I am going to share is the one for the template challenge, I found the photo while I was clearing off the camera card from Christmas, and thought I should scrap it while I still remembered what was going on lol.

Credits: Layered template (Template Challenge 16), Sorta Solids March Color Play Papers, Chipboard Monograms and Spring-A-Ling all by Chrissy W, Fancy Little Scoops by Traci Reed and Pen Pressure Styles by Sonia Harvy (Saab). Font is DJB Myla by Darcy Baldwin.

Journalling reads:Usually when you want to eat cereal, you prefer to do it either in the living room or upstairs. You always choose to sit on the floor and often struggle with keeping it on the spoon. For some reason today you decided that you wanted to eat it at the kitchen table. When Ella came in to visit she wanted to sit with you and have some cereal too. I offered to make her a bowl but she wanted to share yours, so you got up and got her a spoon. I was waiting for the arguing to start but I was surprised to see that it never came. Seeing the two of you sharing so nicely was the very best birthday present I could ever have hoped to get. 30th December 2008.

Enabling: Sorta Solids March Color Play Papers, Chipboard Monograms and Spring-A-Ling by Chrissy W available here, here and here, Pen Pressure Styles by Sonia Harvy (Saab) available here, DJB Myla available here. Fancy Little Scoops by Traci Reed are retired and Template Challenge 16 details including free download link can be found here.

I am going to show you the card next because the other two are a bit special to me.

Credits: Layered template (Speedy Greetings 3, Template 2), It's My Day Mini and CU Mixin' It Up 1 all by Chrissy W. Font is Honey I Stole Your Jumper.

Enabling: Speedy Greetings 3 Templates, It's My Day Mini and CU Mixin' It Up 1 by Chrissy W available here, here and here and Honey I Stole Your Jumper Font available here.

I got the desire the other day to scrap photographs of Leo, for some reason that is still unknown to me that day I felt that I was strong enough to remember things about him and scrap them without crying. Both of these layouts were made using the same kit. It was really therapeutic to just sit and let the words pour onto the page. It's something I haven't really done in a long time and to be honest I have really missed it. I am actually quite proud of these layouts and the simple style they are scrapped it. I felt like simple was the best way to tell these stories.
The first one is about Leo and his dummy while the second is about little moments with him. The same day I did these I started a third one about Leo's stay in PICU. That one was a lot harder, I shed a lot of tears while I tried to do the journalling and even had to go back to it the following day because the emotion was just too much. That one isn't ready to be shared yet, I have the journalling finished and the pictures edited but I haven't been able to decide on a kit to finish it off. I want to scrap that one in a similar style to these but it's a lot harder than these were probably because the memory is not a happy one or one I really want to think about.

Credits: Layered template (Lots To Say 2, Template 1) and CU Mixin' It Up 1 by Chrissy W, Baby O' Mine Boy by Melissa Bennett and I'm Felting 01 Styles by Royanna Lea Fritschmann. Font is DJB Myla by Darcy Baldwin.

Journalling reads: I’ve never been very fond of the idea of giving dummies to my kids. It started when Lukas was born and the S.C.B.U insisted on him having one to help his sucking reflex. When we noticed that his mouth was sore, I asked one of his doctors if he could have a latex allergy the same as I do, they said no but I trusted my instincts and decided to get rid of the dummies. Within a day or two of them being thrown away his mouth was all better. When Leo was born so early the S.C.B.U team again told us he had to have a dummy. We decided that we were only going to allow that if I could find a latex free dummy. Malcolm managed to find silicone dummies in France for me. They weren’t exactly easy for Leo to suck though. After a lot of searching we found this one, it was round clear plastic with a handle and had a round silicone teat on it. Leo loved it from the first time I gave it too him, even though it was almost as big as his face. It used to make me giggle how he would wrap his fingers around the handle, or put his whole hand against it almost as if to stop us from taking it away from him. He also loved to wrap the dummy clip strap between his fingers and stroke the ridges around the edge.

Enabling: Lots To Say 2 Templates and CU Mixin' It Up 1 by Chrissy W available here and here, Baby O' Mine Boy by Melissa Bennett available here, I'm Felting 01 Styles by Royanna Lea Fritschmann available here and DJB Myla Font available here.


Credits: Layered template (Lots To Say 2, Template 2) by Chrissy W, I'm Felting 01 Styles by Royanna Lea Fritschmann, Baby O' Mine Boy by Melissa Bennett, Wordart by Bethany Harty (Elegant Wordart) and Vintage Photo Actions (Chocolate Tint) by Lauren Barden. Font is DJB Miss Liz by Darcy Baldwin.

Journalling reads: Sometimes when I am having a bad day I feel angry with myself for not taking more pictures of the two of you together. I thought that I had all the time in the world to take photographs of the little moments between you. I thought that if I missed capturing a cuddle here or something cute there I would always have the opportunity to capture it some other time. After Leo came home from hospital I was so busy just enjoying having him around, and watching the two of you together I didn’t stop to take the time to remember the moments, I was too busy enjoying watching them. I will never not wish I could turn back time and do things all over again but it makes me appreciate every tiny little moment that I do have. These photographs are just random shots of you together. Lukas was hungry and screaming for his bottle and Lukas was trying to give him a cuddle and comfort him while I made it. When cuddles and talking didn’t help he tried to offer Leo his own bottle not understanding that the milk inside them was different. I made the bottle as quickly as I was able but by the time it was ready Leo had gotten himself into a state. When I gave him he bottle he continued to sob for a little while as he drunk it. I was stroking his hair to calm him down and talking to him. Lukas was a little confused as to why Leo still seemed sad even though he had gotten what he wanted. It took at least half the bottle before Leo calmed down completely and opened his eyes again. The way he looked at me was almost slightly accusing, as if he was asking me why I hadn’t given him his bottle straight away. Then he reached out his hand and stroked my face. I remember thinking it was cute like he had decided to forgive me for being so slow and just decided to enjoy the bottle. Moments like this seem like nothing to most people but to me they are the only thing I have to help me remember every precious moment I got with Leo.

Enabling: Lots To Say 2 Templates by Chrissy W available here, Baby O' Mine Boy by Melissa Bennett available here, Wordart by Bethany Harty (Elegant Wordart) available here, I'm Felting 01 Styles by Royanna Lea Fritschmann available here and DJB Miss Liz Font available here. Vintage Photo Actions by Lauren Barden are now retired.

I think I have forgotten how to do this

It used to be a bit of a habit to write down all the little details on here, to recap the day and share the layouts I had created. I guess when the days become little more than sleeping, eating, pain and feeling tired there isn't really much left to write about. I have scrapped a few layouts here and there but for the most part I have stayed away from the computer all together. I don't know if I mentioned on here but my new laptop is broken so we only have the desktop at the moment. Lukas wants to use it to play his games on, Mark wants to use it for playing the SIMS 2 on and vaious online games and it never seems worth the effort to fight with them over computer time. The limited amount of time I do spend on the computer are taken up with replying to emails and keeping on top of my blog reader. I do browse the forums but rarely feel like posting to them anymore. I supppose the very limited computer time is good practice for when the baby is born, Lukas and Leo were only ever happy when they were being held I am pretty good at doing things one handed so I can type or even scrap with a baby on my lap but I don't know if I will want to. Whenever I do open up Photoshop to scrap I don't seem to feel inspired, I struggle with trying to choose kits and photographs that work well together. Yesterday I had another hospital appointment. They did some more scans and took some more blood and are baffled as to why every single thing they tested for last time was negative lol. I will admit its kind of fun to always be such a mystery to the hospital especially since each pregnancy is uniquely bizarre lol. Takara Bean appears to be doing fine, very active and exactly 16 weeks in size on the scan. I have another appointment in 5 weeks time ironically its 2 hours before the appointment for my 20 week scan, I am supposed to make an midwife appointment at some point between now and then. I've done something to my ribs it started when I was coughing a lot and my ribs were sore, a sharp pain right across them making it hard to do everything. It kind of got worse when Lukas for some bizarre reason decided to press against my ribs on the left hand side. Paracetamol is a very good friend of mine at the moment, the only problem is its making me very sleepy and dazed all the time. Its kind of strange to have painkillers do something I am so used to them being completely pointless unless I take a lot more than I am supposed to it seems crazy that 1 500mg tablet is capable of knocking me out for the whole night. So apart from my own health issues things aren't too bad. Mark is currently working 3 days a week for 4 hours each day to help get him back into the routine of working after being off for so long with his back. He's gone for a physio appointment today and has an occupational health meeting tomorrow. Lukas currently has no front teeth as both of them came out within days of each other. Luckily the new ones are coming through but for now he looks very grown up with his huge gap lol. I am waiting for the repair people to come and fix the leak under the kitchen sink. They said they would be here sometime before 4pm. Then I have a lot of phone calls to make include getting the laptop repaired and I assume by the time all of those are done Lukas will be home and Mark will be off to work. I better go for now because I have lots of other little things to do while Mark is out. But I will pop back when I get a minute and share the few layouts I have done, the scan photos and a photograph of Lukas and his gap for you. I still have enabling to add to the other post as well.