ADSR Season 3 Layout 2

The second stop was right here at The Digi Chick

Challenge: INTERSECTION

Racers start your engines 'cause we have a got a great challenge for you!

This week is a collaboration challenge. You need to work together to create a single layout. Each team member is responsible to create half of the page. Here is where your creativity comes in, you can split it up however you want: top and bottom, side to side, diagonal, L shaped, checkerboard whatever! Use your imagination and let's see your creativity shine through.

Deadline: Sunday March 2nd Midnight EST

Prize: This gorgeous kit created just for racers.

Our Take: Well the week kind of got away from us, we kept trying to make a start and getting distracted by other things. We ended up selecting one freebie kit we both have and working on certain parts of it each to make the final layout. It's a lot of fun to make a collaboration layout, but it's pretty difficult when you both work on different time zones. Luckily I am not normal and I work on my own time lol so when I should have been sleeping I was wide awake. We spent the majority of today working on this one up and honestly we are quite proud of the final layout.

Credits: Photopalooza Templates (Template 3) by Angela and Emily Powers (Two Sisters Designs), And I Quote Friendship by Amanda Slagle (Mandabean), 40 Days Of Scrapping Purpose 3 by Royanna Lea Fritschmann and Terry's Sewing Machine and Stitch Maker Version 2 by Terry Maruca. Font is: DJB ERIKA by Darcy Baldwin.

Journalling reads:There was a time when we were “normal” we had jobs and other people respected us and then came the medical issues that slowly took all that was normal away and replaced it with a life of pain, tiredness and other people assuming that we were just lazy and not ill.While the pain was hard enough, the hardest part was having to deal with it all totally alone. When we found each other through a mutual love of scrapbooking. It was like finding a light at the end of the tunnel. Suddenly there was someone who understood completely because they were going through the exact same thing. Each of us understood how difficult it was to care for a young child with barely enough energy to get dressed each day. Each of us understood the feeling that we were letting our kids and our husbands down because we were ill. We were able to offer each other a listening ear and a cyber hug when it was needed. We were able to make each other laugh out loud and we sparked each other’s creativity. Having a kindred spirit allowed us to find the comfort that was so difficult to come by anywhere else, we found the affirmation in each other that we were doing the very best we were able to do. Our conversations boosted both of our spirits, we helped each other to have believe in ourselves again. The more we talked the more we realised that a problem shared is problem halved. It’s easier to cope when you don’t feel alone.

Enabling: Photopalooza Template by Angela and Emily Powers (Two Sisters Designs) available here, And I Quote Friendship by Amanda Slagle (Mandabean) available here and Terry's Sewing Machine and Stitch Maker Version 2 available here. The kit we used was the download that accompanied the 40 Days Of Scrapping Purpose challenge at Divine Digital. The DJB Erika font is available as part of this set in Darcy's store at the Digi Chick.

Cutting the wedding cake

I thought that this photo from Mark's brothers wedding went really well with Royanna's papers. I made this for Chrissy's latest template challenge, but I changed the 4 pictures at the bottom to one large one.

Credits: Layered template by Chrissy W (Template Challenge 6), Shattered Papers, A Flowered Chip On My Shoulder 1, Studio Styles 4 and Studio Styles 2 by Royanna Lea Fritschmann. Font is Shelley-VolanteScript.

Enabling: Shattered Papers, A Flowered Chip On My Shoulder 1, Studio Styles 2 and Studio Styles 4 by Royanna Lea Fritschmann available here, here, here and here. You can find the details about Chrissy's latest template challenge right here.

My biggest trial - Leo

Created for the 5th Mrs Wresh Blog Challenge. I am really not used to journalling that tiny lol it's 9pt I usually use 18pt minimum.

Credits: Layered template by Mrs Wresh (Template 35), Folded Mattes Templates by Jen Caputo (Template 1), Black Light Papers and Wrap Me Baby 2 by Heather Manning, Shattered Paper Pack and Gettin' Textured Overlays 01 (Overlay 3). Fonts are JPaige_TonyPrint by Jeanelle Paige and Tsarine Anastasia Script.

Journalling reads:You were a trial from start to finish weren’t you Leo. We had been told that we had more chance of a big lottery win than we did of having another baby. Then there was the pregnancy complications, which meant endless trips to the hospital for scans and other tests. Your birth at the bottom of Daddy’s stairway. Your stay in special care where you defied all the odds they kept giving us. You were a real fighter. You came home before you were even due to be born. I thought that once you came home we would be safe. We could just be a normal happy little family. But I was so wrong wasn’t I. Everything that had happened until then was nothing compared to what happened next. We transferred doctors, and you seemed to have a little cold. The old doctors wouldn’t see you because you were no longer there patient, the new doctors couldn’t see you because they didn’t have your notes. When I took Lukas to go and see Daddy you stayed with Nana. When I got home I just got in the bath with you and Lukas, no different to all the other times we had done it. Only this time it was different because you suddenly became floppy and turned blue. I remember getting out of the bath and screaming at Nan to ring an ambulance. I tried to give you mouth to mouth. While we were waiting for them to get there. They arrived and rushed away with you leaving me to follow behind with another ambulance driver, I called Daddy on the way. When we arrived they were frantically working on you trying to get you to breathe or respond. I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare as they finally took you to the intensive care unit. Then came the questions that I answered so many times. I was so stressed by everything I ended up joining you in the hospital The stupid accusations from the social workers, they ordered Lukas to the hospital to be examined, they thought I had hurt you. I could never have harmed a hair on your head, or Lukas’s you were my world. You were on life support for a week, I had to make a decision about your future. As much as I couldn’t bear to lose you, I knew that I couldn’t bear to see you suffer more. It didn’t end with you though. When you died in my arms, the real trial began the statements to the police, the waiting for the inquest the searching for any little answers we could get all done while we were desperately searching for the answer to our only question of why? When they finally released your body, nearly 2 months after you died we had to plan your funeral. I carried your tiny little coffin, I chose music that communicated how I felt and then I stood up and I spoke about you. I have never felt so much raw emotion before, the pain of losing you was so great it hurt to breathe. My chest was raw from sobbing, I wondered how I would ever endure the pain and there were a lot of times when I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to hurt anymore I wanted to be with you so badly. I would have been willing to do anything even die to make the pain go away. Me and Daddy became closer than we had ever been. All the fights and disagreements didn’t matter anymore. We found comfort in each other’s arms. We needed each other more than ever before. We still had Lukas to care for. I clung to my love for him. He was my saviour through it all. I couldn’t stand to cause him anymore pain, so I picked myself up and I took it one day at a time. I got up and I found ways to block some of the pain. Ironically I found scrapbooking; the hobby most people use to remember became my way to forget, at least for a while. When I started it was a release for the emotions. Creating took my mind off you; writing poetry healed my heart a little. I got lost in pixels and managed to escape the never ending hurt for a while each day. All the while, just waiting for the inquest. Hoping, for the answers that would help ease our pain. But they never came, because even after all the tests they did they still didn’t know why you had died. Now my trial is simply to find a way to get up each day and live with the hurt, to search for the light at the end of the tunnel and to endure my grief. I value each and every day, because I know how precious life is. We will never ever forget you or either of our other angel babies. I will ensure your legacy is never forgotten and you well you can watch what I am doing from that fluffy little cloud your sitting on. You can listen when I talk to you and when I play your songs and you can know that you are and always will be loved and cherished and there’s a gap in my heart that will never again be filled. It’s reserved just for you.

Enabling: Folded Mattes Template by Jen Caputo available here, Black Light Papers and Wrap Me Baby 2 by Heather Manning available here and here, Shattered Paper Pack and Gettin' Textured Overlays 01 by Royanna Lea Fritschmann available here and here and Template 35 by Mrs Wresh can be found in this pack at her Scrapbook-Elements store.

Can't stop too much to do

so just a quick layout share, I am really trying to get everything done so we can go out tomorrow and I am really struggling with the amount of time everything is taking.

Credits: Layered template by Chris Greiser (Onesies Template 1), A Papered Life 05 - That's why they call it the blues, A flowered chip on my shoulder 1, Flowers for Nana Brushes and Studio Styles 1 by Royanna Lea Fritschmann. Fonts are jailbIrD JenNA and DJB JENNIFER by Darcy Baldwin.

Enabling: Onesies Templates by Chris Greiser available here, A Papered Life 05 - That's Why They Call It The Blues, A Flowered Chip On My Shoulder, Flowers For Nana Brushes and Studio Styles 1 by Royanna Lea Fritschmann available here, here, here and here.

ADSR Season 3 Layout 1

The first stop this time around was right here at Digital Scrapbooking Classes.
Challenge: For this first challenge I want us all to get a chance to know each other. However, we are going to do something different than the traditional "All About Me" layout. So here are the instructions for your challenge.
1. Use this sketch/template when creating your layout. Provided in square and rectangle sizes.
2. Use your favorite color on the layout. Try to make at least half of your layout in your favorite color so we can all see what it is.
3. Share with us a picture of your favorite person or animal to scrap about on your layout. I want to know who or what is closest to your heart.
4. Go through your collection of digital elements and pick out one of your favorites. Then use at least three times on your layout. You can use different colors of the same thing, but I want to see three of the same element. For example, if your favorite element is a specific satin ribbon, then use that ribbon three times on your layout. You could use it three times looking exactly the same way or you could alter the color of ribbon to three different colors.
Deadline: Sunday March 2nd Midnight EST.
Prize: $10 Gift Card to the store.

My Take: I chose to use the square version of the template because I couldn't be bothered to resize everything lol. My favourite colours are red and purple but I didn't have any photos that would go with purple. Closest to my heart well that was a bit of a given really wasn't it lol. Everyone knows how much I adore my little guy, I thought it would be fun to play on my love for him and his love for the little red tractor. The last part was the most difficult for me because I don't really have a favourite element, but I do have a fondness for brushes so I went for three of the funky little metal gears and three of the little metal screws included in the kit I chose to use and I used the tire brush three times so hopefully that should cover all the requirements.Credits: Layered template by Christy Haig (ADSR Template Square), Extreme Sk8tr and My Boyz All That Brushes by Royanna Lea Fritschmann. Fonts are JPaige_TonyPrint by Jeanelle Paige and DJB PLAIN JAIN and DJB My Own Outline by Darcy Baldwin.

Journalling reads: I wish I could understand why you love this little red tractor so very very much, since you got it for your birthday, I have hardly ever seen you off it. You sit on it to watch television, you ride it all around the house and outside, If you don’t want to ride it, you have it tipped upside down, spinning the wheels and examining every little bit to see how it works. You lift up the seat and fill the void with toys. It makes me giggle to see you pushing them around in it, using the tractor like a little pushchair. You have such a great little imagination Lukas.Who would have thought it was possible to get so much pleasure from a little red tractor. I guess we should be very greatful that Nannie Donna telelphoned and asked if she should pick you one up when she saw them reduced to three pounds in Sainsbury’s. I think that little tractor was worth every penny, because seeing you so content isworth more to me than any money in the world. In fact it’s priceless.

Enabling: Extreme Sk8tr and My Boyz All That Brushes by Royanna Lea Fritschmann available here and here. Fonts were all purchased, I believe Jeanelle's store is now closed, but Darcy's fonts are available in her store at the Digi Chick. You can see the details for the template above.

You make me laugh

I was looking for a photograph that I know I have somewhere of Lukas wearing a pair of bunny rabbit ears, I wanted to use it to scrap with one of my CT assignments this week. But while looking for that I found these, photographs of Lukas playing with an empty plastic bowl, by wearing it as a hat. I remember taking these photos, the camera wasn't working right after we had dropped it on the concrete, and some of the pictures looked awful so I have never scrapped them. I got the idea to fade my favourite one which happened to also be the worst one quality wise into the background so you couldn't see the lines across it and I have to say I am very pleased with the end result. I just realised I never added the date I took the photos to the layout, If I print this for Lukas I will probably add it on there somewhere, so just to stop me forgetting when I actually did take them lol the date was the 22nd July 2006. I am willing to bet that Lukas will love it and demand his own copy, it's got lots of pictures of him on it and it's his favourite colour lol. Anyway suppose I better shut up and get on with showing it to you lol.

Credits: Layered template by Chris Greiser (Peaceful Grace, Swoopin 2 Template 3) and My Boyz All That by Royanna Lea Fritschmann. Fonts are 2Peas Sunshine, Renaissance and My Own Topher.

Journalling reads: Lukas you never fail to bring a smile to my face. Your bubbly personality combined with your insane silly streak make you easily the funniest person I have ever met and I am so glad you are in my life. When I took these photos you were messing around with an empty plastic bowl. You were wearing it as a hat and trying really hard to make mummy and daddy wear it as well.. Just one of the reasons I love you so much you make me laugh.

Enabling: My Boyz All That by Royanna Lea Fritschmann available here, Peaceful Grace (where the templates come from) is a collaboration between Royanna Lea Fritschmann and Chris Greiser and is available here.

What's my motivation?

that's what actors say isn't it? Well right now I feel like I am attempting to act like a mummy, a wife, a scrapbooker, and various other job titles that get thrown in there. I feel so overwhelmed by all the things on my to-do list I don't know where to start. The procrastinator in me isn't helping, I can hear that little voice telling me that there's no hurry I still have time. But I really don't because I want to spend some time with my little guy this weekend, I want to actually *gasp* go outside of the house. I want to do something fun and take new photographs. If your wondering what I have been up to this week well let's see I spent Monday clearing out my blog reader and making space on my harddrive by deleting some of the crap I have amounted. Let's just say that I managed to get rid of over 12GB of stuff and I haven't really scratched the surface. I spent Monday night sitting up with Lukas because he said he didn't feel well and kept trying to be sick, so I spent yesterday trying to catch up on some sleep before Mark went to work at 4pm. I spent the evening trying to catch up in between trying to sort Lukas out. For some reason he was completely mad last night running around like a loon and giggling all evening until he finally went to sleep at about 11pm last night little monster. I had another really bad allergic reaction last night thanks to the dopey husband. If he'd just left me alone and not been trying to hug me and kiss me when he came home it wouldn't have happened. Basically he kissed me and I had an allergic reaction to latex on his lips. He had done something to the tire on his bike and then smoked a cigarette and tranferred the latex that way. I had a bad reaction on Saturday after Lukas went to Ella's birthday party and played with balloons. All I did was touch the handrails on the stairs that Lukas had touched on his way upstairs. I'm getting really fed up with the latex allergy at the moment, it seems to be getting worse all the time and it's really starting to make lots of things difficult. Better run I have a lot of stuff to do and not very long before my angel *insert sarcasm right about here lol* comes home from school and Mark goes to work.

Me and my teddy

I took these photographs one morning when he was getting ready for school, he was just being silly and crazy and I thought it was cute. But the irony is they are some of the sharpest photos I have ever taken of him. I am slowly getting back into scrapping, I am starting to have a little fun doing it, isn't it amazing what a difference the computer working better makes to creativity.

Credits: Layered template by Hummie (Template 35 Square), Basic Stitches - X Stitch by Jessica Bolton, Scrapbook Essentials Additions Tear BearZ by DeDe Smith and This Boy and Note2Self Alpha by Laura White (Princesslala). Font is DJB MANDYK2 by Darcy Baldwin.

Journalling reads: When we saw this teddy bear being sold to raise money for the NSPCC (The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children), you decided that you wanted him. All of the other ones were brown, you wanted a white one, and we were lucky enough to find him buried right at the bottom. Whenever you are at home, he is never far from your side. You cuddle him while you watch T.V. You play with him and talk to him. The poor thing has been thrown up on and peed on when you have been poorly, and you have chewed his ribbon to bits. but a quick trip through the washing machine, (while you are at school obviously), and he looks almost as good as new Sure his fluff has kind of lumped together a bit from all the hugs he gets, and he’s a little bit limp. But he is loved to pieces. It makes me so happy to see how much you love him and how you call him your best friend. I know as long as you have him you will feel safe and happy and be less likely to “borrow” my teddy bear.

Enabling: Basic Stitches - X Stitch by Jessica Bolton available here, Scrapbook Essentials Additions Tear BearZ by DeDe Smith available here and This Boy by Laura White (Princesslala) available here. The Note2Self Alpha is no longer in the store sorry. The template is currently available to download for free here, you can check out the thread for all the details. DJB MANDYK2 by Darcy Baldwin can be found in this font pack at The Digi Chick.

Green Eyed Boy

This layout was inspired solely by the wordart in the kit lol. I remembered I had taken this photo at the Boxing Day Christmas Party, damn I have just realised there is a mistake on it the date should say Boxing Day 2006. Oh well I will correct it if I ever print it out, I can't be bothered to change it and then edit all the gallery uploads. Doesn't really matter to anyone but me does it. I'll bet you money that I end up doing what I have just said I am not going to do. I know that it's going to bug me until I change it later lol.

Credits: Layered template by Hummie (Template 36 square) and Feelin' Lucky by Royanna Lea Fritschmann. Font is DJB Lorraine Bold by Darcy Baldwin.

Journalling reads:I was trying to take a photograph of you with Nana, Conor and Ella. Conor was being silly as usual. Nana was looking as uncomfortable as she always does when the camera is pointed at her.Ella was slyly watching you and Conor and trying to work out how she could get Conor into trouble. You, well you were looking at Conor’sNintendo DS, desperately wanting one of yourown. It’s the first time I remember you ever being jealous of anything. You so badly wanted to have a go on it, guess it looked like lots of fun.

Enabling: Feelin' Lucky by Royanna Lea Fritschmann is available here. The template is currently available to download for free here, just check out the thread for all the details, you made need to register first I can't remember, I have been registered there for a while.

I hate this photo so much lol

The original is a photo of me Gavin, Darren and Callum. But I cropped it down to finish this layout. I know there are lots of other photos of me in that hideous combination but it's late and I haven't a clue where they could possibly be lol. This one was created for another of this weeks prompts in the Simply You challenge I talked about in the last post. I may not like the photo very much but those papers are yummy. Royanna has added a lot of new paper packs to the store and since I think papers are often the most important element on a page that makes me very happy lol. I picked up this set and a gorgeous blue set for this weeks CT assignment but there are lots more I want to add to my collection.

Based on a sketch by Chris Greiser (1-photosketch {8})

Credits: Tis The Season Alpha and A Papered Life 08 - I'm Just Plum Dandy Baby by Royanna Lea Fritschmann. Font is Pea Meli.

Journalling reads: I hate this photo with a passion because it brings back so many bad memories. That jumper was a Christmas present from my mum. She used to make me wear it every time we went out. It was made of wool that itched really badly and the sleeves and body of it was too short. But that jumper caused nowhere near the amount of trouble that black velvet headband with gold braid caused. I can’t count the number of times I got in trouble and smacked because that thing got “lost” She used to make me wear my hair down with that holding it back. It wasn’t strong enough to hold back my thick hair so it all ended up in my face and annoyed me. I always used to get into trouble when she couldn’t find the things she wanted me to wear. Everything she liked I hated. We had more arguments about my clothes than anything else I can remember. It’s the thing I always remember about my mum - her awful fashion sense!

Enabling: Tis The Season Alpha and A Papered Life 08 - I'm Just Plum Dandy Baby by Royanna Lea Fritschmann available here and here. Font can be downloaded from this site which is well worth a visit if you happen to be a font junkie or just have a fondness for handwriting fonts.

Simply You Layout 1

I signed up for a new challenge over at Divine Digital, it's called Simply You with with Gina Miller {Simply Homespun Designs}. You can find all the details here if you want to take a look. Each week 5 prompts are posted, you have to create layouts based on at least 2 of the 5 each week, 90% of the products used must be from the Divine Digital boutique. The layouts must be brand new, never posted anywhere else and cannot be made using quick pages. To be honest I am not really interested in the prize for completing the project, I just thought it would be a cool challenge and a great way to inspire my CT work lol. Obviously I have a lot of products from Divine Digital, for a start I own almost Royanna's whole store lol. I am always up for something new, so I have this to work on and the 1st ADSR challenge should be up tomorrow, I am still intending to carry on with Mrs Wresh's Blog challenges and anything else that takes my fancy. I like having something other than my crappy marriage to focus on lol.

Loosely based on a sketch by Chris Greiser (Feb07_sketch3 right).

Credits: Feelin' Lucky and Gettin' Stitched Up 01 by Royanna Lea Fritschmann. Fonts are DJB Writes A Lot by Darcy Baldwin and Dymo.

Journalling reads: I took this photograph from the window of our old bedroom at Mark’s Parents house. I opened the window and leaned out so I could try and take a photograph. There wasn’t fingerprints or dust on my lens all that blurry/cloudy area that was the rainstorm. It went from a clear sky to this massive downpour in such a short space of time, I wanted to try and capture a photograph of it because I found it utterly amazing. It made me appreciate just how fast things can change, how something dangerous can come from nowhere without warning. I remember feeling in awe of the power that the weather held that day, but more than that I remember feeling relieved that we had a warm dry house to be safe inside until it stopped. I felt sorry for anyone who was caught outside in it and for everyone who didn’t have a home to be safe inside. Who would have thought that something as simple as a rainstorm would be such a huge reminder of how lucky I am and how much I have to be greatful for.

Enabling: Feelin' Lucky and Gettin' Stitched Up 01 by Royanna Lea Fritschmann available here and here. You can pick up the DJB Writes A Lot Font by Darcy Baldwin here, and Dymo can be downloaded here, if you want to see the original sketch you can do that in Chris's gallery here her blog is also well worth a look if sketches are your thing, she sells great templates too.

This was not an easy layout for me

firstly because I had to scrap about God, I know some of you know some of my thoughts on religion and god, put bluntly most of them are not something I would share in a scrapbook page. I also couldn't find wordart I wanted to use, so I made my own. I don't like making wordart for me it's difficult. That's why I buy so much of it lol. But anyway this was created for this weeks Mrs Wresh Blog Challenge. Let me know what you think, i'd appreciate any feedback on this one. Credits: Layered template by Mrs Wresh (Template 48), Stand Up And Scrap by Heather Ann Melzer, Summer Breeze, Summer Breeze Addon and Dirt Don't Hurt It's A Pink Thang Alpha by Heather Manning and Black and White Embellishments (Kiss) by Pillowgirl.Fonts are: DSP Box and DSP Curls and Whirls by Suzanne C Walker, SP Holy Guacamole and SP Double Doodle by Scrap Supply, Hallway Graffiti by Meredith Fenwick, DJB My Own Outline and DJB KeelyB by Darcy Baldwin, Patchwork Letter by Claude and Dymo.

Journalling reads: When I was a little girl I went to a church of England school, religion was an important part of the curriculum. As I got older circumstances made my beliefs change. I no longer believed all the things I had been taught about “God”. I lost any faith I might have had. It took a lot of time but I have finally made some decisions about what “God” is to me. I belive that it is the architect the one who took all that science had to offer and created a world for us to live in. But I believe that like any architect once the project was done, there was no further need for their involvement. They may look at their project and be disappointed with what it has become, but they have no say in it. Some people will look at the finished result and consider it a work of art, but never think about the person who built it. Others look at it in awe of the creator, they study everything they can about them and live their live aspiring to be just like them. I like to believe that when my life is over I will go to heaven with the ones I have loved and lost, and maybe I will get to see the original plans for how “God” expected things to turn out, I bet there were a lot of things that “God” had different plans for. I often wonder whether “God” regrets including free will in the plans, maybe without that they would have had a bit more control. I firmly believe that the only person who can change my life for good or bad is me, because if there was anyway that “God” could intervene they would, because nobody could just sit back and observe other people suffering and hurting.

Enabling: Layered template 48 by Mrs Wresh is included in this set, Stand Up And Scrap by Heather Ann Melzer was part of the stand up and scrap collaboration which is now retired, Summer Breeze, Summer Breeze Addon and Dirt Don't Hurt It's A Pink Thang Alpha by Heather Manning available here, here and here and Black and White Embellishments (Kiss) by Pillowgirl was downloaded here but it is no longer available.
Fonts are: DSP Box and DSP Curls and Whirls by Suzanne C Walker, SP Holy Guacamole by Scrap Supply and SP Double Doodle by Shabby Princess, Hallway Graffiti by Meredith Fenwick is now retired, DJB My Own Outline and DJB KeelyB by Darcy Baldwin, Patchwork Letter by Claude and Dymo.

2 Layouts?

I managed to create and save 2 layouts without them being munched by photoshop, nothing going wrong with the computer or anything else meaning they got lost, Surely that can't be true can it? lol. I have a tiny *snort* addiction to Janet Phillips templates but I don't seem to use them very often, I wish I knew why because they are great templates.

Credits: Layered template by Janet Phillips (Seeing Stars 1, Template 3), Jordan's Sandy Beach and Thanksgiving Wordart by Heather Manning.

Enabling: Seeing Stars 1 by Janet Phillips available here, Jordan's Sandy Beach and Thanksgiving Wordart by Heather Manning available here and here.

Sharing a new layout

I really should think of a more original title shouldn't I lol. But that really is all I am here for right now. If your wondering what prompted another Ruby layout, her christening invitation arrived this morning and it put me in the mood to scrap a girly layout for a change.

Credits: Layered template by Mrs Wresh (Template 41), Katiana's Sun Dress and Los Dichos 3 by Heather Manning. Pink Glitter Styles by Flergs and Font is GoodVibrationsROB.

Enabling: Katiana's Sun Dress and Los Dichos 3 by Heather Manning available here and here. I think the template by Mrs Wresh is no longer available but you could always check her store and see the others she has available.

Post number 500

I just happened to notice as I was about to hit the new post button that this will be post number 500. Wow I ramble more than even I thought lol. So I suppose since this is post number 500 now might be as good a time as any to finally tell you the details of the funeral, to talk about the new level of hell that my marriage has become, maybe I will even spill my guts on a few other things. Ok now where to start? that's been the problem for a while hasn't it there is so much going on I never know where to start with talking about it, I never know which part to actually write about because this blog is no longer therapeutic to write. I don't get the same feeling of release from writing it anymore, because to be honest seeing how things are in black and white for everyone to see makes them more real, more depressing but most of all it makes them hurt more. So how about I start with some pictures of the flowers from the funeral. That should be a lot easier to start with than words. *insert swear word of choice here* because I have just noticed when Mark reinstalled my computer yesterday not only did he forget to back up my ACDSee database (and in doing so lose me hours and hours of work) and forget to back up bookmarks he has forgotten to plug the card reader back in, and since I can't get down on the floor (one because it hurts real bad to bend over right now and two because Lukas happens to be asleep on his bed, on the floor behind me because it's a bit cold in his room at the moment), and pull out the machine to do it the pictures are going to have to wait. *sigh* guess I will just have to take a deep breath start typing won't I, no more excuses or delays. Ok so here goes. I will admit that before the funeral I had a vodka and coke. It wasn't just because I was going to be stuck with people who don't like me very much all day, it was because I wasn't feeling great I had a rotten headache and you know what it's like to deal with people who don't like you at the best of times, there's nothing worse than doing it feeling ill. I will also admit I was still hurt over not being asked to do the order of service and I was mad at Mark for the day before. We were supposed to be going together to the funeral directors, I had been up all night and I laid down for a while. Before I did that I asked Mark not to let me go to sleep, but if I did not to leave me for more than one hour. He left me all day, he went to the funeral directors without me and to be honest I felt like he had taken away my chance to say the things I wanted to say to her, he'd taken away my chance to say goodbye. I know I wrote here that I didn't really want to go but after writing that I had a change of heart. I felt really hurt by what he did, upset that I had wasted Valentines Day sleeping, I was also hurt that he didn't even think to say Happy Valentines Day to me. I made him cards, and never got around to printing them out but he had seen them on the computer anyway so at least he knew I was thinking about him. So Valentines Day was really the prequel to this mess. We were going to a funeral with hardly any money because we had spent so much on flowers, I was worried about everything and I made the choice to take a water bottle with my own vodka in it. Now before anyone condemns me for that I wasn't intending on drinking much of it, I just didn't have anything smaller to put it in. I drink alcohol mixed with a pint of something, coke, orange juice, lemonade, doesn't really matter what I don't like the taste of alcohol, I don't like any expensive alcohol I only like the cheap stuff. I'm strange like that. My brother Gavin and Lisa were working behind the bar, they served me a pint of lemonade, which I added vodka to. After that first one I didn't add vodka to anything else. I feel like I really need to stress that point since it's important that's understood before I go any further. I was hurt when Mark's family gathered for family photographs and I wasn't included, but I said nothing. After they had been taking photos for a good 10 minutes Mark started calling me over, I wasn't interested since I was just an afterthought to him and everyone else in that room, to be honest I was a bit disgusted that they were all happy and laughing posing for family photos at her funeral. I couldn't get why no-one was sad or miserable. After that I got myself in trouble, I was wearing new shoes and on the dance floor in the hall they felt like they were slipping. Not wanting to make an ass of myself by falling over, I decided that the smart thing to do would be to take them off, only I can't bend over because of my stomach hurting (there was also the matter of being worried my boobs might escape lol) so I did what I always do to take shoes off, I lift my foot a little of the ground, give it a little shake, shoe falls to ground and usually Lukas picks them up for me. Only one kind of got stuck on the top of my foot a little and came off by flying slightly into the air and a little way across the floor. Now from where I was stood which wasn't very far from Mark at our table, the shoe was just a little off the floor, and was nowhere near anyone, but this is where the day went to hell. I went upstairs to the toilet and after using the toilet I sat on the chair near the door, simply because I was tired out, I was fed up and I wanted to be away from everyone for a little while. The next thing I knew I was being shouted at by one of Mark's relatives, while 10 other relatives stood and watched. She said that "she wasn't having Fred's (Mark's mum was called Freda) day ruined by some tacky freakshow who wanted to be centre of attention", she followed that up with some bullshit about if you want to be by yourself, you be by yourself, and stop ruining her day. I sat there and the only words I uttered in my own defence were "I haven't done anything" I couldn't understand what I could have possibly done to offend someone I hadn't even spoken to. I had only told a friend of the family that her new baby was adorable, asked Mark's pregnant young cousin about her ultrasound, and the only other people I had uttered words to all day were Joshua (Mark's nephew yes the one I have moaned about lots), Lukas, and I had spoken to my brother while he was serving me. I couldn't help it I burst into tears in the toilets. Then Mark's Aunty Rachel came upstairs and started going on about how I'd had too much to drink, how Mark had to apologise to someone who I nearly hit with the flying shoe and how Mark should take me home. Mark came up and the more I tried to explain why I was crying the more he ignored me. He called a taxi and drove me home still refusing to listen to a word I had to say. I went straight upstairs and cried myself to sleep. He let Nan think that I had got drunk. We spent the whole night arguing I cried a lot, he wouldn't even comprehend that I wasn't the one in the wrong. The next day things got even worse because all of the other details of the day got thrown in. One of Mark's family went through my handbag, and took my bottle of vodka to the bar along with one brand new sealed bottle of water, and one opened bottle of water Lukas had been drinking, demanding that they dispose of it. I found out that the story everyone had been told was I had to be taken home because i'd thrown up in the toilets, after having too much to drink, Lisa had been threatened by the family member who had gone mental at me, she'd told people that she had been tempted to take me outside, that the story about the shoe had gone from the truth to "it was launched down the length of the hall and was almost embedded in someone's head" but much worse than all that I found out that members of Mark's family including his dad had said things like how Mark was scared of me because I beat him. It caused a row in the whole house, I went mad at Nan because she made assumptions based on what Lisa had told her, Lisa had said what she had based on things she had heard from Mark's family, I cried myslef hoarse and I have been pretty much crying ever since. I am hurt that Mark has obviously told lies about me to his family, I admitted on this blog the one time I hit him, I don't batter my husband, I could never hurt him, he's a lot bigger than me and stronger than me for a start. He admitted that he had said I hit him and that he had said I was controlling. I don't have the power to make him do anything as everyone who reads this is aware because if I had power of him he wouldn't drive me so damn crazy would he? He won't speak a single word in my defence, not even just to utter the truth and I know I have said that our marriage was on shaky ground before but right now it is hanging by a thread. I don't know how to forgive him for the lies and the gossip, I don't know how to get past that he wouldn't even listen to my side of the story. I don't understand how even after hearing how the stupid woman had bullied, threatened and exaggerated, he still believed I was in the wrong. I don't understand and I don't know how to forgive that he's not even sorry. If your wondering the woman who we will just refer to as the mouthy troll lol, is related to him she's Mark's Dad's Sister's Daughter In Law. They must get on fabulously because the Aunt is a mouthy nasty bitch as well, the day Mark's mum died I offered to make her a drink when she came to the house, her answer - "Bout time you got off your fat lazy ass and did something". Fueled by the hurt and endless tears I asked Mark for a divorce and he didn't even seem to be bothered. He doesn't seem to fear losing me and Lukas at all. When I ask if that's what he want he alternates between don't know and a very bored sounding no. I am truly at my wits end with it all. I can't help that we are so different, he knows if the situations were reversed I would have stuck up for him no matter what. I never let anyone treat him like that. I love him, I cherish him and I want to protect him. But love doesn't seem to be enough anymore. I can't see past this wall of hurt and tears. I feel like he ripped out my heart and I don't know how to fix it. I don't want to walk away from him, but I don't want to be treated like this either. Things are so tense here at the moment, Nan's mad at him for the way he treated me, she's mad at me for putting up with it, I am mad at myself for not having the strength the walk away, I am mad at him for so many things, even Lukas is mad at Mark because i'm sad, which makes me even more sad. I hate to hear Lukas say things like "I don't like you anymore daddy, you made mummy cry". I try and tell him that it's not ok to say that and then he's confused because as far as he is concerned he isn't doing anything wrong. I have so much to do, so many thoughts rushing around inside my head and no energy to sort any of it out. Just to make things as bad as they could be, I got my period yesterday and it's heavier than it's been since before Lukas was born. I am wiped out physically, mentally and emotionally. I can't sleep, because there's too much going on in my head, I can't even lay in bed because I can't find a comfortable position because I hurt so much. I still can't shake this chest infection or the urine infection, I know I need to make a doctors appointment and try and get it fixed but I just can't find the motivation. Right now I would be content if the only thing that changed was that my body found a temperature and stuck to it, I am sick of being freezing cold one minute and burning up the next. I guess the words aren't gone anymore, and I am sorry for the book that I have written. I don't even have a layout to share with you after having to read all this, because just as I was about to save the one I was working on earlier photoshop munched it. See even a full reinstall can't kill all the computer gremlins. *Sigh* hopefully I will be back later on today or tomorrow with something a bit less depressing.

Another Wind In The Willows layout

Credits: Layered template by Chrissy W (ANGIE'licious template 4), Blue Christmas, Old Edges and Clustered Frames by Heather Manning. Font is KGD Tiffany by Kimberly Geswein.

Journalling reads: The Wind In The Willows display was made up of lots of smaller scenes.This
was one of my favourite but I couldn’t find a way to take a single photo of the whole thing and
keep the details. This little guy was standing with a mole, in a little house, they were hanging
Christmas decorations, there were carol singers outside the door, a table laden with food and even a black cat curled up asleep in front of the fireplace.

Enabling: ANGIE'licious templates by Chrissy W available here, Blue Christmas, Old Edges and Clustered Frames by Heather Manning available here, here and here. If your wondering about the font it's retired sorry.

I never thought I would say

scrapping is easier than talking, but right now it is. Just moving papers around on a page until they click into place on a template and look right is a lot simpler right now than finding the words to talk to anyone, either online or in real life. I haven't got much done today except this layout I am feeling really yucky, I am tired out and my heart feels so heavy right now. But before I show you that I have had a few people ask for the story behind the badger layout I showed you yesterday. Honestly there isn't a story behind it, when we went to Milton Keynes and we saw the Wind In The Willows display, I was amazed by the lengths they had gone to and the details they had included. I could have taken a million photos and still not captured all of the tiny details. But I really wanted to remember at least some of the bigger parts of it. I have scrapped a few other photos I took the same day, I know I did one of Mr Toad's Flying Car but I can't seem to find it uploaded on my blog you could always have a look at it here, here or here though, I can't remember what else I have actually gotten around to scrapping from that trip yet. Maybe I will get some more done this week since there is no pressure to add journalling lol.

Credits: Layered template by Chrissy W (ANGIE'licious template 2), Little Black Dress Paper and Flashy New Year by Heather Manning. Font is AL Cleanliness.

Enabling: ANGIE'licious template by Chrissy W available here, Little Black Dress Papers and Flashy New Year by Heather Manning available here and here.

Sharing another layout

I made this one for Chrissy's latest template challenge at Digital Candy. I still haven't even scratched the surface of the photos I took of the Wind In The Willows display from when we took Lukas to see Santa at Milton Keynes. I will get to them as I feel like it lol. I suppose it might help matters if I scrapped more than one of them at a time, but I don't do "caught up" scrapping, I just pick a photo that I like, or I pick a kit that I like and somehow they come together as a layout. I'll never ever scrap every photo I have taken and as far as I am concerned that's fine, I think that I have found my balance between scrapping the memories that matter and scrapping just because I enjoy it. I have a wide mixture of "memory" pages and "art" pages.
I might even manage another layout before the wrestling comes on.

Credits: Layered template by Chrissy W (Forum Freebie 5) and Icy Sparkles by Heather Manning. Font is AL Eyewitness.

Enabling: Icy Sparkles by Heather Manning is available here and you can donwload the template by leaving Chrissy a post in this thread and she will pm you a link to download it. Then just make a layout and post it to this gallery. Simple and lots of fun.

Now let's get to sharing that layout

I created this for the 3rd challenge on Mrs Wresh's Blog. Credits: Layered template by Mrs Wresh (template 26), Dirty Snow, Wrap Me Baby 1, Old Edges Frames, Blooms 2 and Bringin on the bling alpha all by Heather Manning. Font is DJB Writes a lot by Darcy Baldwin.
Journalling reads: I don’t have any family heirlooms or things with massive pricetags. But I do have this, and to me it’s a priceless treasure that I would never want to lose. I entered a baby photography contest at Divine Digital and I was lucky enough to win with a picture of my angel baby Leo. The prize was this one of a kind custom made Crystal bracelet featuring the winning photo. I always wear it whenever I go anywhere that I go where I feel the need to have Leo close to me, I love to look down at it and see his photograph.

Enabling: Wrap Me Baby 1, Old Edges Frames, Blooms 2, Dirty Snow Papers and Bringin' The Bling Alpha by Heather Manning available here, here, here, here and here. I don't think the layered template is available anymore. DJB Writes A Lot Font by Darcy Baldwin is available here.

If I get time to get another one finished while they are watching the Daytona 500 I will be back. But if you haven't seen me by about 1am don't expect to I will be happily curled up watching the mummy porn hopefully beating the living daylights out of that slimebag Randy Orton and more than likely i'll be imagining that it's a certain member of Mark's family he's beating up instead.

No I am not here to tell you about the funeral

we will save that for another day, because to be perfectly blunt I am still really pissed off and hurt by what happened on Friday. I don't like to swear on my blog but there is no other description that sums up how I feel about the whole thing. Some of you may have remembered that today is Gaiebraille's anniversary but to be honest it kind of got lost in the aftermath of the funeral. Yes the funeral was bad enough to make me ignore that, getting a gauge of the scale of how bad it was yet? If that wasn't enough I was really ill last night with an upset stomach. I didn't eat anything at the funeral, and I hardly ate anything yesterday but it didn't matter. I am going to start a new post to show you the layout I have spent a lot of today working on. It's a lot easier to ignore the desire to cry if you are busy. I promise I will try and find the desire to share the details of the funeral later this week, I might manage to find time to upload some photos of the flowers that I ordered from us, mark's brother and his wife and his sister, the ones no-one has bothered to try and arrange payment for yet. I took out a loan for £300 to buy them, they were just over £200 and I have to pay back the original £300 plus the £240 interest, you know the ones no-one even bothered to thank me for ordering. Oh I sound so bitter don't I. *sigh* I just can't help it. I feel bitter, and angry but most of all the whole situation makes me miserable.